Jami's Dream Weddings

Inspired by attending a wedding and this post by EDW, let me just say that I also need more weddings. I don't need more husbands, although in this post from almost a year ago, I discuss why I could use a few extra, without ditching the original. Along the lines of the Vegas wedding EDW mentioned, I wouldn't mind one on the Star Trek ride at the Las Vegas Hilton. I'm not that big of a geek, but it would be fun and they let you have the reception at Quark's bar where the drinks are both yummy and colorful. The last time we were there, we saw two couples tying the knot on the bridge of the Enterprise (separately, not at the same time). The first couple wore your basic wedding-garb, but the second couple sported their authentic-looking dress uniforms. I'd go for the dress ( I love a big fancy dress), but I'd let the wedding party wear unis if they want. There're also several other attractive and fun places in Sin City to throw a wedding, but that still seems like the most fun to me. Along the geekiness lines, the Husband and I half-jokingly discussed a Star Wars themed renewal of vows. I, of course, would be Princess Leia and he'd be my Han Solo. This would make my mom and dad Amidala and Vader, respectively, which would be worth the price of admission. My brother would make a fine Luke, although I'm not sure what costume M, my maid-of-honor would wear. The best man would obviously be Chewie, and fortunately the Husband's best friend is good and tall. I'd like another formal church wedding, because most of my friends now didn't know me when I got married. I rather enjoy being the center of attention, and I'd like to do it "right" again. After seeing several of my friends' wedding photos, I'd like a nice Hindu wedding. Now, I'm not Hindu, but I want the henna, the ornate wedding outfits, the wonderful traditions, the all-day party. I wouldn't even mind having it in India, which I'd like to visit someday, as long as we don't do it in the hot/rainy season. A friend of mine attended a wedding in India on a day it was over 100 degrees and the humidity was 85%. Too hot for dancing, IMO. I wouldn't mind a sunset beach wedding, followed by a bonfire on the beach. This would be a way less formal one, with a guitar player for music. I'd still like to get it catered, though, because I want to have a lovely table setting on the beach, and it's my wedding, after all. I recently learned that you can rent out the entire Pittsburgh Zoo for your event and this sounds like a good one, too. The aquarium would be a lovely setting for the ceremony, and how fun would that be? Who else has penguins at their wedding? I could probably come up with 15 or 20 more good ideas, but that'll do for now. Also, we wouldn't ak for or expect gifts, being that we've already got a house full of stuff, but I would insist on a bachelorette party. Aerie, you can throw mine, as long as you promise not to hire that same stripper.

Jami Takes Over the DMV

Okay, not really, but I have some ideas. Mostly, it's because there are too many people on the road and far too many of them are apparently unfit to drive, complete morons, or just jerks. We all have our bad driver moments, I know. We've all made an illegal turn, accidentally or on purpose - it happens. There is no one among us who can claim they never have been distracted while driving or drove when we were a little too tired, a little too mad or even just a smidge intoxicated. (I've done one and two, never three). But seriously, there are limits and I should be allowed to disable your car and take your license when I see one happening. Last week I saw a woman driving with a can of soda and a cigarette in one hand (which rested halfway out the window) while applying mascara and driving with the other hand. The Husband saw someone driving around the hairpin turn by our house while shaving. A former coworker informed me that she used to prop a book up on the steering wheel and read while on the highway, because highway driving is so boring. My house is not hard to find. Seriously, it's fairly easy. And yet, of the 7 or 8 times I've had FreeCycle items that someone is picking up, the person has either called me and said they drove around the area for an hour and couldn't find it, gave up and went home. Or they call me from their cell and say something like 'I know you said to take the immediate left on Poplar, but I must have missed it because I drove straight for 15 minutes and now I don't know where I am'. If it was an 'immediate' left, maybe you should have stopped after, I don't know, the first 10 streets you passed? I've messed up directions in my life, but usually I do something like retrace my route. Or, if I'm driving around for an HOUR in a fairly small locale, I look for someone who looks like they know the area and say "Is this Name-of-street? Do you know how I get there?" If you can't figure out how to get to my house, maybe it's not safe to be on the road. Just saying. A few weeks ago, I saw the slowest low-speed collision ever. Two elderly drivers pulling out of parking spots in Wal-Mart's parking lot backed into each other so slowly that even though I was standing next to them when they hit, I didn't hear a thing. That's right. I didn't even know they'd bumped into each other until both men got out of their cars and walked around to look at their bumpers (no damage of course, you probably could have put an egg between the cars and not broken it). This was the most avoidable accident ever, caused by two old guys who weren't looking, even though they were going less than 1 mph. A local news station reported that in PA there are nine licensed drivers over the age of 100. Yeah, read that again. Look, I am all for active seniors, I just don't want them running me over, even at low speeds. So, in the interest of not getting crushed by an idiot driving 3-tons of Escalade while downloading music to his phone and eating lunch, I say: I should be in charge.

Jami's Role Models, continued . ..

I can't talk about fiction character role models without mentioning the Big One. I had a really long IM conversation about this with someone, but for the life of me, I can't remember who. So, if it was you, feel free to skip this one, you've heard it. Major Margaret Houlihan - If you aren't a fan of M*A*S*H, the name doesn't mean much to you. If you were a casual watcher, you probably remember that she was "Hot Lips Houlihan" and had an affair with a married man. But there's more to this nurse than meets the eye and here's what I learned from Margaret:

1. You Can Be Friends With Guys. In charge of the nurses and outranking them all, Margaret never quite fit in as "one of the girls". She ended up hanging out with the doctors, even if she had a sort of love/hate thing going on with Hawkeye. This lesson became super important to me in 6th grade when I learned that most girls are mean and boys are way eaiser to understand and get along with.
2. A Woman Can Be Tough AND Feminine, and Even Have a Soft Side. Margaret's a tough cookie. She runs a tight ship with the best nurses in the army. When someone had to stay behind or go into danger, she always went herself instead of risking another nurse, even with her fear of loud noises. She stood up for herself, told off people who needed to be told off and never backed down from a fight. But Hot Lips was all woman, and had the girly touches to prove it. In her tent, she'd be wearing a lovely asian-style bathrobe. Flowers usually lived sat in her quarters. Instead of a short "practical" haircut, she kept her hair blond and long, letting it down when the occasion called for it. I thought she was beautiful, even in her fatigues, and I still think about her sometimes when I put my hair up into a high bun, as she often wore. She might have seemed cold, but when the stray dog who'd been around camp died, she broke down. We saw glimpses of her heart, which was a good one, just well protected.
3. Don't Let 'Em Treat You Bad. Sure, the major made a few poor choices when it came to love. Frank was a weasel, but he was convenient. And when he didn't do right by her, she made him pay. He'd be forgiven, but he had to earn it. She ditched him for a guy who seemed perfect on paper, Colonel Donald Penobscot. Donald appeared to have it all, army career, high rank, good family, good looks, not married. It didn't take long for her to find out he was cheating, though and when she did, she kicked him to the curb. No blubbering and begging him to come back, no blaming herself for not being good enough. She recognized that he was a bum and she'd made a mistake, and she set up her finances, called a lawyer and got out of the marriage.
4. A Mistake Isn't Permanent. As mentioned above, Margaret picked a few losers to dated (and marry), but she seemed to learn from each mistake, and at least made new ones. She conquered her alcoholism. She overcame fears. When she found herself off course, she corrected, apologized to anyone she had to and kept on moving.
5. The Rules Matter. Major Houlihan liked order. She appreciated the chain of command and a staff that runs like a well-oiled machine. In a world that often seemed lost in chaos, Margaret clung to the Rules and the Book because someone had to, even when it made her unpopular.

Lastly, I'd have to mention Morticia Addams. Before you laugh, think about this - "Tish" had a husband who clearly adored her. She lived in a mansion with servants. Her children obeyed her and lived up to her expectations, even if they were different from ours. Morticia was gorgeous (as played by Carolyn Jones, see pics here. I always thought Angelica Houston wasn't delicate enough to be Morticia), she dressed with such elegence and style and she always held herself with such confidence and grace. They were wealthy enough that she and Gomez didn't have to work. I dearly wanted to be her.

Jami's Role Models

It takes a village to raise a woman as great as I am, to be sure. Of course, my mother is and was my biggest role model, but as a member of the TV generation, there are a couple of fictional characters I'd like to thank for some life lessons. Princess Leia Organa - Sure, every little girl wants to be a princess, but Leia wasn't the sitting around posing type. At a very young age, she led a rebellion against a vicious dictator. She stood up to torture, survived daring escapes, shot at enemies and led her troops into battle. I still remember watching Star Wars: A New Hope for probably the 100th time, maybe age 9 or 10 and realizing that when Alderaan exploded in front of her, Leia had just seen her home and family and all her friends blown up before her eyes, and yet, she didn't crumble, she fought. And she maintained her dignity, humor and charm. She opened her heart to new friends and a new love. Leia held her head high and kept her poise even in the toughest situations, but she wasn't hardened. Tough, beautiful, classy, smart. That's what Leia taught me. Part two tomorrow - The Husband wants a turn on the computer. I think Leia would let him have one.

Friday Feast

Feast 145 Appetizer Name a sound you like to hear. I love to hear the Husband and Eddie playing together. Eddie has a great laugh and the Husband can be very silly and sweet, especially when he thinks no one's around to hear him. Soup What is your favorite kind of cheese? Melted. Salad Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not? Nope, I have a baby. Main Course When was the last time you forgot something? What was it, and how long did it take to remember it? I forgot someone's name when introducing her to another friend this week, but I remembered it after about a second, so I just covered it with a throat clear. Dessert Fill in the blank: I notice ____________ when _____________. I notice my Pittsburgh accent is stronger when I'm talking to another Picksburgher.

Jami's Cooking Tips

I'm no Rachel Ray, or Emeril or whoever, but I've learned a few things in my day. Of course, you're never too old or too experienced to learn something new. In fact, just the other day, I learned a valuable lesson that I'd like to share with you. See, I made a turkey. I love turkey and when they go on sale, I have to buy one. It's some sort of compulsion, I see the "sale" sign and all those b-i-i-i-g frozen birds and the next thing I know there's one in my shopping cart. Someday, perhaps I'll share the story of how I learned that a 25 lb turkey is too big for two people, even if they really, really like turkey. So anyway, the point is, a few days ago, I made a turkey. Get a pen and a note card and write these down: 1. If the turkey "just fits" into the pan, meaning that the wings and the ends of the legs kinda stick out, go get a bigger pan. Even if it's a big pain to drive to the store to get one of those disposable ones. It's worth it. 2. If for some reason, say, the pan you are using is too small, and the juice leaks or spills out of the side of the pan, don't assume that it's no big deal and it will just evaporate and burn off. Without going into embarrassing details, let's just say that was does happen is that it starts to spew toxic-smelling smoke out of every tiny opening in your oven until your house fills up with it and it sets off all your smoke detectors and makes the bread smell funny. 3. In the event that the above happens, absolutely do not under any circumstances, forget about the spilled and burnt juice and not clean it up and three days later attempt to make garlic bread in the oven. This may cause a repeat of the whole smoke problem. I'm sure I'll have my own cooking show soon.

Jami Remembers

Memorial Day - a time to remember those who have given their lives in service of our nation, and really, of our world. It actually irks me to see carpet stores and used car lots having Memorial Day sales - gee, how nice to honor our fallen soldiers by buying a nice rug. Today, I am remembering three soldiers who fought, served and came home. This year, I've been to three funerals of three WWII vets - my grandfather and two men from our church family. Their service, more than a half-century ago was mentioned at the funerals, because it shaped their lives, and they shaped our world. My other grandfather is alive, and also served in WWII. He was wounded, fairly seriously, and after recovering, returned to action and liberated Rome. Tomorrow, Eddie and I will watch the parade that goes by our house (convenient!) and wave our flags. As I did last year, I'll tell him that today we are remembering that brave people fought and died so that we here in the United States and other countries can be free and live how we want to live. We'll stand when the vets walk by. He's too little to understand now, but I'll keep telling him until he does, and even after that. Regardless of how you feel about the ongoing war, please take a moment to remember that the freedoms you enjoy everyday, even the freedom to disagree with the government and protest the war, those were bought for you at a high price. God bless the families of the soldiers who did not come home. God bless those who lost friends, lovers, and comrades. In loving memory of Pop-Pop, George Libby Sr. and George Paul. Thank you for your service and your legacy.

Jami Presents: Two Photos From a Bachelorette Party

Warning - this post contains a photo that is most definitely in poor taste.

Yesterday was a busy day. I had a funeral, a wedding and a bachelorette party (different brides, don't worry). While I could probably write all afternoon about these events, I'm still recovering, so I'm just going to post two pictures from the party for now.

First - the Stripper. You can't see his face in this photo, but really, who'd be looking? I have to say, the whole stripper thing was hilarious, but also probably the most disturbing thing I've participated in.


And Second - the Crown I Stole. Yup, took it right off the head of the bride-to-be once she lost the ability to object. Actually she'd pretty much lost the ability to sit up unassisted or speak intelligibly, and I did return it. In my defense, I really, really love crowns and she was basically unconscious.

Jami's Friday Feast

Feast 144 Appetizer List 3 emotions you experienced this week. Contentment, Joy, Fear Soup Name a car you’d love to have. a dark grey Jaguar XJE Salad Describe your typical morning routine. Wake up to hear Eddie saying "Heh-yo? Mom?", listen to see if he's going back to sleep (he never does, but one can hope) Get up, change him, brush both our teeth, make us breakfast. Main Course Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply? I emailed Ann Rule, my favorite true crime writer, because I'd come across her email and really wanted to know what happened to one of the victims in one of her books. She wrote me a really nice response saying that she keeps updates on the people in her books on her website (which I hadn't known about). Dessert Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones? Sadly, I don't even have an iPod or anything similar. Generally, I'm a big techie nerd, but in this area, I am tragically behind.

Jami Warns the General Public

Dear Everyone, No one is going to send you a check for no reason. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that most of my loyal readers are already aware of this fact, but in case someone doesn't, or you've chanced across my blog and don't know it - let me reiterate: No one is going to give you lots of money for nothing. I bring this up because on the news the other day they mentioned that the #1 scam in the US are the many variations on sending you a bad check and requiring you to send some/all of the money back. I've seen three such cases on Judge Judy, all of the people shocked to discover that they'd been had. You can't win a sweepstakes you didn't enter. No legitimate job offer requires you to send them money and certainly not money they've sent you - that doesn't even make sense. If you've won some money and there are "fees, taxes and shipping" costs - tell them to take them out of your winnings and just mail you the part you've actually won. But if they even ask, listen closely now, it's not real. No one in Nigeria has 37 million US dollars that they want to share with you. If they did have 37 million dollars, they wouldn't still be in Nigeria. No one in the UK needs you to cash American money orders, I don't even know where to start on that one. Don't get me wrong, I enter the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes so often that I fully expect to see that big white prize van pulling up out front sooner or later, but I know that I never entered the Canadian National Lottery for Foolish Foreigners. Thank you for your time. For more information, post your social security number, date of birth and full legal name in the comment section. Regards! Jami

Jami's Mom

Ah, Mothers' Day, a holiday I've only recently really begun to appreciate - you know, now that it means I get gifts. Eddie presented me with a card that included stickers (which we shared) and lovely peridot (his birthstone) earrings. The Husband also gave me a card(no stickers) and the pendant that matches the earrings, even though I am not his mother. They're good guys, my two men, but this post isn't about them. Or me, really.

Dear Mom,

Thanks. I always knew that being a stay-at-home mom is a tough job, but this past year I've really learned that lesson first hand. I didn't know how tough because you always did it so well and made it seem so effortless.

In the year and a half I've been a mother, not only do I appreciate more what you did, but I appreciate what you do. I have a babysitter, advisor, sounding board and another person who loves Eddie and can talk about him endlessly.

You've been a fantastic mom, always there when I needed you or just wanted you to be there, or a few times when I didn't want you there, but it was a good thing you were. When I was in school, I knew that when something was going on, a field trip, a party, a performance, my mom would be there. No doubts, no question.

You (and Dad, but this is Mothers' Day) raised two confident, intelligent, employed happily married Christians who contribute to society. You love us when we're hard to love, you give of yourself without expecting return and because of your example, hard work, love and time, I am being the best mom I can be. I hope that I do as good a job as you have done.

Thanks, Mom. I love you.

Jami

Mom, on the day she met Eddie

Jami's New Groove

You might have noticed a trend, loyal readers. Or you might not have. I've decided to have a new convention for my blog titles - with a few exceptions, they'll start with "Jami". Wish I'd thought of it sooner. Since this blog is the Very Important Thoughts of Jami, it just seems to flow, you know. I got this idea from EDW, who titles hers with song lyrics and Scrubs, who title each episode "My . . . ." It'll last as long as it amuses me. Thanks for noticing, if you did.

Jami is Tagged!

I got tagged by EDW on this one: Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they have been tagged and to read your blog! 1. Every morning when I wake up, I immediately think how much I love being in my bed and how I don't want to get out of it because nothing else is going to be as comfortable for the rest of the day. 2. I touched on this in a comment on PW's blog, but when I was little, I had a very detailed fantasy about how I had been switched at birth with a baby who had died. My parents were the king and queen of a small country in Europe and my father's half-brother wanted to take over the throne. They hid me by pretending their baby died and sending me to America with the parents who raised me. Actually, the royal security guy had made the switch, so even my "parents" didn't know I wasn't theirs. The king and queen had already arranged a marriage for me with a prince from a neighboring country and they'd come for me when I turned 21 and was legally able to assume the throne (Not that I would, just that by that time, it would be pointless for the evil half-uncle to kill me). And all this - it's just the tip of the iceberg. 3. I generally assume that every male I meet will be attracted to me if he gets to know me. 4. I love having long nails and I quit the volleyball team in school because I had to cut them or not play. 5. I talk to a few imaginary celebrity friends when I need to talk something out and it's too personal to talk about with anyone real. 6. I can't throw away some T-shirts I have that are old and beat up but they are from events and make me happy. 7. Instead of lullabies, I sing Eddie to sleep with my repertoire of classic hymns, modern christian contemporary music, 80's ballads and show tunes. Between PW and EDW I think everyone I know who has a blog has probably been tagged, but I'll try tagging M, even if she hasn't posted in like 2 months . . . .

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred Forty-Three Appetizer Tell about a time when you had to be brave. Long story short - I had a group of junior high kids in my care on a mission trip and it appeared that someone had shot at us. The kids hadn't figured it out so I had to act like everything was totally fine, but let's get the heck outta here, NOW! Soup Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing? Duh (or should I say "D'oh"?) it's the Simpsons Movie. Wanna go with me?? Salad Name an item you try to always have on hand. Diet Coke. I was going to ask something like "a food thing or a tool or what?" but the truth is, I have Diet Coke. Main Course Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it! No overhead lights. Warm, humid, quiet. There's a TV, a large comfy chair with a big fluffy blanket. A huge TV, an endless bookcase, a supply of Diet Coke, a fridge with Mike's Hard Cranberry lemonade. It has a hot tub with a view of the TV and in reach of the fridge. Oh, and it smells like jasmine. Dessert On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being highest), how spiritual or religious are you? I'd say a 9ish? I know what I believe and I'm active in my religion. I don't chase people down the street trying to change their beliefs or anything.

Jami Vs. Nature, Part II

Sad, but true - I've been fighting the weeds in the patio for approximately a year and a half. As of this morning, they were still winning. I pull them, spray them (last year with something that had a warning not to drip anywhere in the yard because nothing would grow there for two years) and step on them. But still they survive and thrive. This year, I've gotten another type of weed killer, applied this morning, and something optimistically called a Garden Torch. It's a cute little mini blow torch that I can use to burn the weeds once the killer starts doing its job. Don't worry, I'll wait until the baby is safely in the house and the Husband in standing by with a freshly charged extinguisher before I try it. The weeds make it hard to use the patio. It's not that I hate wildflowers, I just don't want the weeds to overtake the furniture - is that too much to ask? Also they trip the baby, and I think they attract bugs. We all know how I feel about bugs. I went out and pulled the weeds before spraying the poison, feeling that the less of the weed that was there, the better. Guess what I found? The weed clumps were hiding ants!!! That's right - you all thought I was all crazy and paranoid, but here my two largest nemeses conspired against me. Ha. I knew those plants and bugs were evil. After I put down a nice layer of weed killer, I knocked down the newly uncovered ant holes and escape hatches and filled them with the ant killer. I pondered, briefly, calling someone who did better in chemistry than I did and asking if combining the two would create a risk of explosion, but as a lifelong geek, I know that the worst that would happen is that I end up with super powers and then have to decide whether to use them for good or evil. Oh, who am I kidding? We all know I'd descend into evil, even with the best of intentions. Lest you all think I'm a heartless earth-hater, we have a bird (possibly robin) nest above our kitchen door. This is the second time birds have moved in there, and I'm thrilled. Last time I got excited each time the baby birds hit a new milestone (got feathers, spread their wings, etc.) This time I can't see into the nest as well, but I'm still looking forward to them like an expectant aunt. Last year I named the babies Frankie, Petey and Sir Featherbottom. I'll keep you updated and if I can figure out an angle that I can use to take a picture, I'll get one for you.

Jami and PW Hit the Stage

Okay, I know I'd promised Part Two of me against nature, but I had the greatest dream last night and I have to share. PW brought me a flyer about a huge concert being put together right here in Pittsburgh - open to any band touring in the late 80's or early 90's. I showed only mild interest, I'd wait and see who would be there before getting excited. But PW hadn't been talking about going to the concert, she wanted us to sign up for the concert. I didn't understand, so she explained further. She wanted us to go to the organizers and tell them we are the Indigo Girls. She had it on good authority that they wouldn't be there, and we both like them, so why not just be them? I have to admit I went along with it somewhat reluctantly, seeing as we look nothing like either one. Also, to the best of my knowledge, PW is not big on the singing in public. And neither of us plays guitar. But she seemed to think that these were not really problems. So we went to the open sign up thing and told them we were the Indigo Girls and they believed it, we were in. Oh, and behind us in line, Cher. The next part of the dream was the concert itself. We'd apparently procured a "band" - two guitar playing chicks and a drummer. We were backstage getting ready and I was so nervous I thought I'd upchuck, which is my normal pre-performance state. For whatever reason, we had decided not to rehearse, and PW had put together our playlist, which I had not even seen. The stage was arranged with two benches, one which PW and I sat on and one for our band. Our music stand had the playlist, and the first title listed was "When I Went To School" which I'd never heard of, and as far as I know, is not a song by the Indigo Girls or anyone else. PW hadn't provided lyrics, apparently assuming I'd know them, and she just started right in. I faked a coughing fit and a stagehand brought me some water. By the time I'd had the water, PW had gotten through the chorus once, so I joined in the next time, making up harmony as we went. The rest of the songs I knew, and at the end we did "Closer to Fine" as an encore. I couldn't believe we got away with it. There's no moral or meaning, I think, but I had a great time.

Jami Vs. Nature

It's not that I don't like nature. I love trees and flowers and all that. Cute fuzzy things that live in the woods and don't attack me. I'm not afraid of spiders; when they're in our house, I catch them and let them go in the yard. I even like bats and am thrilled to report that at least two have moved into our area - yay bats! However, I don't like what I call uninvited nature. This includes any non-spider bugs in the house, weeds on the patio and most of all - ants. I hate ants. It's almost pathological and I'd have to guess that it started when ants got into our first apartment. I came home from work and at first, wondered why the kitchen table had turned black. Then I realized it was black - and moving. The entire table top! Apparently they had come in the window and really loved the orange scented cleaner I'd used. It was more than I could take. I freaked out, left the house and waited for the Husband to come home and deal with it. So now, I'm hyper-vigilant and the horrible things are allowed on my property. No second chances, no catch-and-release, just kill, kill, kill. The Husband refers to my reaction to ants as something like "the Death Bringer" and "Ant Armageddon". When I find them near our porch, I get my ant killer spray, and I spray every one of those little suckers I can find, knock down their house and spray the stuff down there, too. If it's a big house, I get the hose, flood it good, then spray the remains once it dries. I find their escape hole and douse that, too. Yes, I feel a brief moment of remorse when they're sort of writhing and dying, but once the movement stops, I'm over it. Now, here's where it gets weird. This year, we've had three separate groups of ants move in. So, the first one, they were all over the porch. That's beyond unacceptable. Out came the spray and soon there were little twisted corpses everywhere. I considered rinsing them off the porch with the hose, but it was supposed to rain that day, and I thought it might be good to leave the dead ones out in case there were survivors; like a warning, you know? A few days later, the rain hadn't washed them all away - there was still a fairly sizable pile off to one side. And a new colony moved in. Really, people, let's imagine this. You and I are out shopping for a new house. I say "Here's a lovely one with everything you wanted, and it's in move-in condition." You say, "Well, yes, but did you see the pile of horribly mutilated dead people at the end of the street?" Me: "Sure, but hey, that probably has nothing to do with us. Nothing to worry about, probably." Would you move in? Of course not. I understand that ants have brains slightly larger than a molecule, so they don't have a lot of reasoning power, but you'd think something like giant pile of dead ants would be one of those things that should set off some alarm bells, even for them. I got my killing stuff back out and did round two of Death From Above. Then, just yesterday, I see another new batch of stupid critters building a new house. I'd run out of killing stuff, so I went to the store and found one that claims to warn them off for 8 weeks. We'll see. They're dead now and I did rinse away the bodies, but I'm not convinced that a scent that's going to stick around is scarier than pile of dead things, but hey, what do I know. Tomorrow - Part II about my ongoing battle with something that doesn't even HAVE a brain. Sigh.

Hey, Remember Me?

Hi Folks,

Sorry it's been so long! I've weritten several blogs in my head, which doesn't do us much good, I know. Anyway where have I been? The short answer is - outside. Eddie and I both had colds, and even after recovering, we were both pretty tired. When we weren't sleeping, we've pretty much been out. Walks, the park, the backyard, Eddie doesn't want to be indoors at all. Even a couple weeks ago when it rained for days, we took walks because I couldn't stand to hear "a walk? a walk? a walk?" any longer.

Even now, I hear him stirring from his nap and I know what he'll say as soon as I pick up my son, either "side play?" which means he wants to go outside and play, or "a walk?" sigh.

I have plenty to write, so if I can get him to bed tonight and not instantly fall asleep once he's out, I'll try to be back.

Eddie Playing Outside



Eddie Walking in the Rain (with Daddy)

Why We Walk

On Sunday, Eddie, our friend Jeanette and I participated in the March of Dimes WalkAmerica, although Eddie seemed to feel it was the "Carry Me America" and spent about half the three mile trip insisting he had to be in my arms.

It was a perfect day for walking, sunny and just warm enough without being too hot. There were families and groups of all sizes and colors. Eddie scammed an Eat-n-Park Smiley Cookie off a group of women by batting his eyes at them and looking longingly at the cookie. Jeanette and I had our best time ever, most likely because we didn't stop at the rest stations, just powered on through.

I took the picture below of Eddie and Jeanette sitting behind some of the flags along the route. The flags are in honor or memory of babies born before their full gestation (36 weeks or less); from what I can tell, it's just for the past year. Babies that survived get a pink or blue flag; the white flags are in memory of those that didn't. This year, some of the parents were carrying the flags at the end, after picking them up en route. Either they hadn't done that before or I didn't notice, but this year I saw several couples carrying two white flags. It's heart-breaking. Last year we walked with Team Gavin - Gavin is now a healthy happy one-year-old who seemed to have a good time on the walk. This year, we walked in memory of Brennan Mark Hayes, who didn't get to take his first breath on this earth. We walk so there will be more stories like Gavin's.

Preterm labor/birth is the biggest killer of newborns, and shockingly, on the rise in the US. 1 in 8 pregnancies will end in preterm delivery and it can cause lifelong health problems for the child. There are some videos people have made about why we do the WalkAmerica, and you can check them out here, but be warned, it made me all teary, so don't watch it if you're supposed to be working or writing a paper or something.

Tomorrow I'll go back to being funny, as I tell you about the vicious cold-blooded killer side of me. No, really.

Eddie, Jeanette and a few of the far too many flags


BTW - Thanks to our generous family and friends, Eddie and I raised over $550! That's enough to support 10 families going through the ordeal of having an infant in the NICU and fund prenatal care classes for 10 women in high risk groups! The money also goes to fund immunizations for infants/children in low-income families, research into the causes of and prevention of preterm labor and even special training for nurses working with preterm infants.

Back to the Blog

I've been away from the computer a few days, Eddie and I have been fighting a cold. I decided to skip housework and turning on the computer and instead spent the time blowing my nose, blowing his nose, medicating us and laying on the floor wishing I could breathe. When it comes to medication, I used to be of the school of thought which said you don't take anything until the symptoms you have are too bad to bear. However, several years ago, I realized I needed to treat colds the way I do pretty much everything else - aggressively. Now, at the first sign of a cold, I start my counter-offensive. I take whatever combination of meds cover all my symptoms, without being potentially lethal. I shut down all non-critical operations, to allow maximum time for rest (this is more difficult with Captain Chaos). I go to bed as early as possible. Taking medication before the cold reaches its apex means I end up with a shorter, easier to deal with cold. See, it occurred to me that one heals best during sleep. If one takes medicine, one sleeps better. Also, for a virus, it's going to run its course no matter what you take: nothing or everything. So why not lessen your suffering? You heal better when you feel better, 'tis true. So now, thanks to my mom and dad wrangling the crazy man for the afternoon, I'm caught up with the house. Here's today's blog and tomorrow I'll talk about the Walk this past weekend. Then, hopefully, I'll have time to catch up on the blog-reading, so I can find out what you're all up to. Right now, I gotta go take my NyQuil and go to bed.