Eddie Becomes World Renown

We all know how perfectly adorable Eddie is - now the world can see, too. Check out Eddie's picture on Glenn Beck's website here. You'll have to scroll down a bit. He's wearing his Tigger outfit.

Friday Feast

Better late than never . . . Feast One Hundred Forty-One Appetizer How fast can you type? Fast. I don't know the actual number. The last time I tested, it was something like 68 wpm, but I do really poorly on the typing tests, because I get freaked out when I make a typo and then I waste all kinds of time. Soup What is your favorite online game? It varies. I like Catan, but it's not free online anymore, so I don't play online. I used to love Literati, which is the Yahoo Games version of Scrabble, but I don't have time to play much. Salad On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 as highest), how intelligent do you think you are? Hmm, basic book smarts? Maybe a 8.5. Street smarts? 6ish. Common sense? How about a 9 on that one. Main Course Name three of your best teachers from your school years. I had lots of good ones, but let's see: 1. Mrs. Howells, my kindergarten teacher who became such a good friend to our family that she and her husband even came to my high school graduation party. 2. Mr. Graf - excellent high school English teacher who encouraged my love of reading, not that I needed much encouragement, and also taught us to think about books in more than just a literature way. 3. Mrs. McAleer, who wasn't necessarily excellent in the traditional teaching style, but definitely nurtured my creativity, always believed in me and built my independence. Honorable mention for Mrs. Marrs, the elementary librarian who everyone thought was mean, but I learned wasn't mean at all when I got to be a library assistance. She was actually funny and smart, she cared a lot about books and because of her, I actually knew the Dewey Decimal system. Dessert What are your plans for this upcoming weekend? Today we didn't do much except hang out around the house. Tomorrow is the March of Dimes WalkAmerica, so Eddie and I will be downtown walking 3.1 miles to help raise money to save babies.

Jami's Big Day Out

This is going to be a diary-style entry, but just because I had a great fun day and don't have anything else planned to write about.

First, the Children's Museum - the Husband, Eddie and I met Eddie's Gymboree classmate Sophie and her mom for an afternoon of "educational" fun. I put the word in quotes because at his age basically everything you do teaches you something, even just spinning in a circle, and also because pretty much anything aimed at kids these days is advertised as educational, including cereal boxes and socks (I am NOT making that up). Anyway, first we explored the toddler area, which included a wall-sized Lite Brite, a nice big sand table, and most important to Eddie, three large train tables. We then moved onto the famous (or possibly infamous)Waterplay. Sophie's mom had wisely brought Sophie a bathing suit, and after surveying the entire floor of splashing, spouting and running water, we stripped Eddie to his onesie. For the next hour, the two of them devoted themselves to being as soaked as humanly possible.

We also had lunch at the museum cafe, during which time Sophie showed off by eating her entire healthy balanced meal, while Eddie ate one bite of chicken, attempted to feed Sophie the rest of his food and steal the Husband's chips. A good time was had by all.

Our family returned home long enough for me to put Eddie down for a nap, clean the bathroom and take a nap of my own, and then we dropped the boy off with my parents and hit CiCi's Pizza. If you're not familiar with this chain - it's a pizza buffet. There's also pasta and salad, but people generally take a token amount of each before stuffing themselves with slices from ordinary (pepperoni) to exotic (barbecue chicken) to just plain bizarre (mac and cheese). I like to save room for their excellent cinnamon rolls, warm and gooey, just what you need on top of a belly-full of melty cheese and crust.

Finally we met up with another couple to see Hot Fuzz which I recommend if you both like British humor and aren't squeamish. It's a riot, by the way.

So now the baby is sleeping and the Husband and I are watching Mythbusters and just chilling. It's not anything you're going to read about on Page Six, but baby, this IS the life.

Eddie at the Lite Brite:


Eddie and Sophie at Waterplay


Raiding the Gift Shop


Jami Surfing with a Penguin

Plenty on My Mind, Nothin' to Say

I wanted to blog today because I didn't yesterday. I know I need the outlet, and I gotta keep writing, because, well, I gotta. But really, I don't have anything clever to expound upon, no funny thoughts. My exciting news has already been shared, and the activities of the past few days wouldn't hold your interest. Perhaps a few random thoughts and notes. Yesterday was Joxer's birthday. He turned 9, but still acts like a puppy and people still go "Oh, he's so adorable, how big will he get?" 17 pounds, folks, this is it. Happy Birthday, Joxer! I was watching Eddie play outside yesterday and decided he is the most perfect human in existence. He's perfectly porpotioned, good muscle tone without looking muscle-y, enough subcutaneous fat that he's soft and rounded, but not at all chubby. He's got a beautiful smile and fantastic expressions. Just perfect. I could just stare at him for hours. This is the beginning of the season when Eddie and I start to look less and less alike. He'll start to get darker, until he's a nice warm brown, and I'm going to stay this whiter-than-milk-white, with a few more freckles and probably a light sunburn here and there. I don't mind, though, the not looking the same. I love how his deep tanned skin looks against mine. My baby brother now has a baby. Guess I'll have to start calling him my younger brother, though since he just turned 29 and I've been turning 29 for awhile now, he'll actually be my same-age brother, then eventually my older brother. That's about all I have for now. Good night.

Whoo Hoooo!

I have a new nephew, Isaiah, born yesterday (Saturday, April 21) - 7 lbs, 8oz. The new daddy and mommy are my little bro and his lovely wife. They are adopting, and the baby wasn't expected untiil May 7th - they were only matched with this bio mom on Monday and BAM~ now they're parents! Welcome to the world and the family, Isaiah, your Auntie Jami, Uncle the Husband and cousin Eddie can't wait to meet you!

12 Steps to the Checkout Counter

Hi, my name is Jami, and I'm an addict. Yes, it's true. Many of you probably suspected, and here I am, publicly admitting my shame. I'm completely addicted to caffeine, but you know what? I don't plan to quit. I can't. I can't even contemplate it. Don't think it's a "real" addiction? Let me tell you - I have "emergency" cans of Diet Coke in the diaper bag, in my purse (usually), in the car and next to my bed. When I worked, I always had some squirreled away in the file cabinet. I drink a can of soda or a cup of tea before bed. I did go cold turkey, briefly, in 1999 (medical reasons) and it made me angry, exhausted, and sobby, with massive headaches to boot. I had weaned myself off it the summer before college, but let's be real, you can't get through college without caffeine, unless you're going to do more powerful stimulants. So here I am, an addict who just won't stop. You can imagine the dismay I felt on Tuesday when I made breakfast and discovered that we were out of diet soda. Even my emergency cans were empty (I drank the last one by the bed in the middle of the night). Now, of course, there's tea, but tea's harder to chug. I found iced tea mix in the pantry - it would do. Usually I've got a good stash; it's rare to run out. But the past several weeks, Coke products had not been on sale, and I'd been forced to switch to Pepsi. I even considered the generic, but the diet was for some unfathomable reason, caffeine free. What's the point of that?!?! At the store, I moseyed up and down the aisles, doing my normal shopping, but I couldn't wait to get to the pop aisle. And when I got there, the Cokes were on sale! I restrained my joy (okay, one small squeal escaped) and started loading up the cart, when what should I see? Diet Coke Plus. It's new, apparently, and it says "With Vitamins and Minerals". I check it out - it has the B vitamins. I love B vitamins - they're the caffeine of the vitamin world. I only bought one pack, because I feared it might be a trick - it could taste icky. I rushed to the checkout, so much so that I forgot ketchup, but that's okay. Beep, beep, beep, pay, run to the car. I crack the case before finishing loading the trunk - the Diet Coke Plus - it tastes like. . . . Diet Coke. O Happy Day!! I could hear the Hallelujah Chorus in my head while the caffeine AND their new friends, The B Vitamin Gang galloped through my system, strengthening me a la Popeye with the spinach. One could weep with joy. I didn't, but I did consider it. The moral of the story is, uh, I'm addicted and I don't care, but now I get all my B vitamins. Yeah, not much of a moral, I know, but God bless those nice people at Coke.

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred Forty Appetizer What is your favorite kind of bread? Hmm, probably hot fresh really dense white bread. Pretty much anything, except pumpernickel is fine with me. Soup When was the last time you bought a new pillow? The Husband bought me a new one last year because mine kept stabbing him. It was real down and the feathers were escaping. Salad Approximately how many hours per week do you spend surfing the ‘net? Much, much less now that I'm Mommying full time. Probably not even an hour a day, now. Main Course What’s the highest you remember your temperature being? I have a low body temperature to begin with (usually around 96.3) so I can remember being 101.8 once, and thinking that was high for me. Dessert Fill in the blanks: When I ____________, I _____________. When I don't sleep enough, I get mean.

O, Maury, Who Art Thou?

In college, I watched The Maury Povich Show. He did shows about issues - surrogate parenting, living with disabilities, that sort of thing. I stopped watching the show when I graduated and got a real job. Now, it's called Maury, and apparently it's turned into Jerry Springer Lite. I catch bits of it now and then when I'm in the bedroom (the TV without the TiVo). I've never even been able to watch an entire episode. There seem to be three available topics - "Who's My Baby's Daddy" (usually sub-titled "Paternity Tests"), "Take a Lie Detector Test to Prove You're Not Cheating", or "My (fill-in-the-blank) Dresses Like a Ho." The blank for the last one is usually "Teen", "Wife" or, sadly "Mom". Why, Maury, why??? Isn't there enough total crap on the air? And seriously, the girl that I saw that brought THREE men on to take paternity tests and they were all negative, maybe she doesn't have the judgement necessary to be a mom. If you can't even accurately narrow it down to the top three, you don't make good choices. Or suck at math. Either way, not good. Maury, I know you probably wanted to do real journalism at some point. Sure, you started on one of those tabloidy things, and maybe you feel bad because your wife got to do more serious stories. But that's no reason to encourage the embarrassing underbelly of society to appear on national TV and make us all collectively stupider. Come back to the light side, Maury! On a personal note, no, yesterday didn't kill me. I did skip my daily treadmill walk, having visions of ending up somehow stuck under it until the Husband got home. As a penance, though, I walked to the grocery store today and bought salad to have as dinner.

When It Rains, It Pours. In the Kitchen.

Today was Dentist Day, the dreaded twice-a-year appointment that I make because I know I should but that I'd really rather find any reason in the entire world not to. Eddie did get up an hour early, knowing that what I really needed was an extra hour of running around the house screaming before we left. Hmm, Weather Guy said that it might rain today. Probably shouldn't be out driving, could be dangerous. But I went, because deep down I live in fear of my teeth falling out like they do in my dreams. The hygienist was a new one, for me at least. I used to warn new guys that I am not a good patient, but I've been working on my breathing and calming myself, so I thought I'd be okay. Generally I was. Yes, I tend to jump and make that scared hissing noise if something catches me off guard and if I open my eyes, they are rolled all the way back, so I worry that I look like a shark, wide open mouth, only whites of my eyes showing. Alas and alack, there is indeed a small cavity. Tiny, really. It looks like a half a poppy seed got stuck to my tooth. My nice hygienist couldn't even get his evil metal hook stuck in it. But it's a cavity nonetheless and the dentist said "Oh that's so tiny. Don't worry, we'll just slip little white filling in there." That sounds so innocuous, doesn't it? So I asked him "Uh, but filling, does that mean it will include drilling and screaming and me running down the hall?" The dentist looked only mildly surprised "Well, drilling at least." He prescribed me a nice large dose of Halcion to take before I come back. I mean immediately before, not continuously, though that would have been fine with me. Then I come home. Eddie runs off into the kitchen while I am going through the mail and I hear him stomping and giggling. Odd, I think, since he usually only stomps to music. I head toward the kitchen and realize it's not STOMP STOMP STOMP. It's SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH. So that's not good. I run in and find a nice large puddle from the stove to the end of the kitchen, with my son dancing happily in the middle of it. Then he sits down, you know, because it's not enough to just get your feet wet. My father-in-law was kind enough to come over and figure out how to shut off the water to just the fridge, and I'm searching for the service agreement, which the Husband has filed in his magical way. That means he'll know exactly where it is and roll his eyes at me like I'm insane. "It's under W because the fridge is white, duh" or something. Oh, did I mention he's been out of town two days? At least he comes back tonight. So I'm not cleaning or folding laundry or doing anything. I'm almost afraid to move. Today is out to get me, and it's only 3:47. See you tomorrow, if I make it . . .

Reflections on United 93

I just finished watching United 93. Probably a poor movie choice for tonight, but I wanted to watch it when I knew I could sit down and watch it start to finish and not be disturbed. Let me just add, that I was fortunate enough to not lose anyone on 9/11. The people I knew who could have been in the Towers were both not there. The family of our church members who were in the Pentagon were far from the crash site. My loved ones were all on the ground, and I got in touch with M, living in NYC at the time, fairly early into the crisis. So, even though it shook me, as it did all of us, it's been five years, I've healed, right? I don't know. I was wholly unprepared for my reaction to the movie. Less than twenty minutes into it, an air-traffic controller reports a plane that isn't responding, and much to my shock, I started to shake. I realized I was crying and hadn't even known it. I had to pause the movie to regain control of myself. The other movie, the made for TV one, focused on the relationships, the people on the plan and the calls they made, the families finding out, watching the news. This was almost a documentary. It was harder to watch. I lost it again when they showed the news footage of the second plane hitting. I'd been watching TV by that point. I'd seen it the first time. I've seen it since. It still tore me up. At one point, I sort of tuned out the movie. It was the part with the fight, near the end. I don't know why I just couldn't focus. Like my brain didn't want to see anymore. I had stopped crying. I felt that numbness that comes after your emotion is all gone. As the plane spiraled down, I started to shiver again, and at the end, I felt a chill I can't even describe. If it is this hard for me, how can people who lost someone, or many someones, how can they watch this? How can they not? I'll spare you my moralizing about the war, the politics, the conspiracy theories that followed, that persist today. As a follow up to my last post, when I saw the terrorists, mass murderers, sitting in the terminal waiting for the flight, I couldn't help but wonder -did they look at the others waiting? What did they see? Were they too filled with hate to see them as humans? Could they rationalize away what they were about to do? Did they see people's spouses, children, parents and friends and tell themselves it was okay to kill them? When a person reaches the point that innocents around them are nothing by accidental damage, there is no soul left, you are the one who is no longer human. I'll go back to lighter posts tomorrow. But for tonight, ask yourself - how can this be?

A Day That Will Live in Infamy

Yesterday was a sad day. Our hearts ache as we hear about the murders on the campus of Virginia Tech. More than 30 young people, killed by one angry, hurting man. I thought about writing a longer post, about the "who's to blame" questions I've been hearing in the media, but let me just say, Cho Seung-hui is the one to blame. No one else. He got the guns. He got the bullets. He ended lives and destroyed families. Then I heard that a friend of mine from my college days died. She left behind 5 children, ages 10 months through 8 years. There is a chance she was murdered, but I don't want to say more until I know more facts. But if she was killed, this is the second person I've known to be murdered. How can that be? How can a nice middle-class girl from the 'burbs know two people, ruthlessly struck down at what should have been happy times in their lives? It's unfathomable, and coming on the heels of the tragedy at VT just tore up my heart. What happens to people that they can decide to take the lives of others for their own selfish reasons? How can one person become self-centered enough that he can justify putting his wants ahead of another's life? Our prayers are with the families and friends of the victims at VT and my friend, Kelley, who will not get to see her children grow up.

I'm Gonna Need a Special Cord for That

Blogging should be super easy for me. I assumed it would be, because I have sort of a narration thing going on in my head most of the time, so it's just a matter of moving that to the computer right? If you've seen Scrubs, then you've seen how my brain works. I'm J.D., minus the insecurity and medical school loans. If you haven't seen Scrubs, just imagine that my life is a book that I'm reading while it happens. As much talky-talky as I've got going on up there, it's harder to dump it all into the lappy than I expected. First off, there's a lack of opportunity; it seems like there's always something that actually needs done, as opposed to things like blogging. Second, I do edit a bit, both for time (you don't want to read my last three hours worth of inter-head-chat) and for content. There's plenty I don't want to share, lots that's just plain boring: "mmm, I really love toast with just a little bit of butter", and some that other people would prefer I not share. You know who you are. It'd be easier if I could just download today's thoughts and then edit as appropriate. Right now, most of what I think about involves Eddie, but I don't want to bore people with an endless Mommy Blog. The problem is that Eddie takes up about 85% of my time, with the other 15% split between sleeping, scarfing down the foods I don't want to eat in front of him and occasionally spending quality time (wink, wink) with the Husband. So you can see how blogging becomes more of a challenge. Well, I have to go, my son is spreading Goldfish crackers around the living room and then stomping on them, while the dog follows a safe distance behind picking up some of the remains.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Eddie-Mom

You know what the problem with Spider-Man is? Not enough Spider-Man. It's true; I just hadn't noticed it before. See, Eddie has lots of Spidey stuff, so I thought we'd try the movie, since it's less likely to make me want to gouge my eyes out and stuff them in my ears than watching most kids' shows. I was aware, of course, that some time elapses in the movie before Peter becomes Spidey, but I did not realize until this viewing how little time he actually spends in his costume. It's not much, and Eddie didn't care much about the rest of the movie. Plot, and all. He's not into that sort of thing.

AND then there was the Green Goblin. I have seen this movie plenty of times, but not since becoming a mommy. So here we sat, watching the movie when the Goblin shows up and my reaction (inside my head) is "AHHHHHHH!!!! That thing is scary!!!" It's hideous, really - big scary teeth, shiny dead gold eyes (see below). It occurs to me that I am a horrible mother, exposing my impressionable young boy to this terrifying creature, who is still on screen blowing things up. I start to say something along the lines of "Ooooh, bad guy, don't worry, Spider-Man is coming." When Eddie points at him and says, in a nice matter-of-fact voice "Green". Totally unfazed, just noting the color just like: "Look, Mommy. He's green." Soon enough Spidey showed up and drove off the Goblin, saved the girl, blah blah blah. As soon as the action stopped, Eddie turned around, made the sign for "more" and said "M-yan" which is what he calls Spider-Man.

I couldn't fast forward fast enough for his taste. He's got no patience, this one, and he's in trouble, I think, because he'll not see good role modeling of it here. I try to have patience, but that's tiring.

I'm going to see if Spider-Man 2 has more Spider-Man in it. There's the whole section where he decides to just be Peter Parker, so I don't know. If not, I'll have to decide which is more annoying, the Doodlebops or skipping through M-yan.



It's not easy being green.

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred Thirty-Nine Appetizer When you were a child, which crayon color was your favorite? Purple, and as un-PC as it is, I loved that Indian Red. I don't know what they call it now. It was that beautiful dark-reddy-brown. Soup On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how likely would you be to change jobs if it required you to move? 1 Salad Take all the numbers in your birthday and your phone number and add them up, one by one. What’s the total? what?? Math? Crap - hang on, uh, 63, I think. Main Course Have you ever “re-gifted” anything? If so, what was it and who did you pass it on to? Yes. I got a hideous wedding gift I couldn't return (won't mention it, just in case the giver is reading, but it wasn't you) and I gave it as a wedding gift to a couple we thought might like it, and also that we're not really close to. Dessert Name something you need from the store. Whole milk for the baby

Spring, When The Brides are in Bloom

Wedding season is fast approaching, as I am sure you are all aware. We've got two on our schedule already, both of which we are really looking forward too. Eddie's already got his tux (really). I mention this because I'm on Session at our church, which is basically the elected governing body, and I see the requests to use the building (and minister) for weddings. I wonder, at times, why people who do not attend any particular church or believe in any particular God feel the need to be married in a church. Tradition, I guess. I know of, off the top of my head, four couples who chose to not marry in a church for that reason, and they seemed to have no problem in finding lovely venues and proper officiants. But there are these others, people who have not darkened the doorstep of church in a decade, who freely espouse a disbelief in God, who choose to marry in a church, and I just think, Why? I had a church wedding and if I ever get our old scanner working or beg my father to do it, I'll scan a few pics in and post them (I was married so long ago, people didn't even USE digital cameras!). While I don't really plan on marrying again, most likely, if I were, I'd probably again get married in our church. Although I think it might be fun to fun off to some tropical island and get married on the beach, or head off to Vegas and take advantage of one of the many fun venues there, I would miss the "right" ness, for me, of being in my home church. If I were marrying outside my church's beliefs, I might need to make use of one of those (see here for my post on why polygamy may be right for me). Even if I didn't get married in our church, I surely wouldn't pick a house of worship from a different religion. I guess there's no real point here, just one of those things I don't "get". If you have to look for a church to get married in, maybe you don't need to get married in a church.

Just the One?

Yesterday I caught about two minutes of the Family Feud - the good part, the end where the individuals have to yell out the top-of-the-head answers. The third question was "In a lifetime, how many times does a person fall in love?" The first guy answered "Four" then second answered "One". The latter was the number one answer. One time, most people believe, and that's all you get. It really made me think, how many times have I in love? Not l-u-v luv that you have in high school where you don't even need to know the object-of-your-affection's last name, but really in love. I've certainly never felt for any one else the love I feel for the Husband, but does that mean that I haven't loved any other men? I think there was at least one that I could have loved, but I don't think I made it that far. He was a good man, smart, but maybe a little lazy, and I didn't let our relationship get past the casual dating stage because I knew we were going in opposite directions in life. I cared a lot about a different boyfriend, but judging by the speed I got over our breakup, I'm going to say that I wasn't in love. My high school boyfriend - that was luv, even if I did mourn that relationship for, well, longer than it lasted. Maybe I'm wrong and there is only one perfect person out there for each of us, and once we've found that one person, that's it. I like to think that you can be in love more than once, just not at the same time. I'd hope that if something happened to me, the Husband would have another chance to love and be loved. In either case, if you have found one, or The One, hang on with all you've got, because love is a precious thing, and not worth wasting.

Just Another Manic Mon .. no, Tues. . . Oh, Wednesday.

My, my, Wednesday already and I haven't posted this week. To be fair to me, my son is just now coming off of his Multi-Easter basket sugar high, so I've spent the past few days trying to talk him down from the ceiling. The Husband is recovering from some sort of Mongolian Death Cold - it's been a busy week. Anyway, here's today's thoughtful and brilliant post. Uh, hmmm, well there's . . . Did you ever notice that . . . Is it just me or . . . . Dang. Got nothing. It's been freezing, which makes me unhappy. I hate being cold and I was halfway through changing our sweaters for t-shirts and basically ended up leaving everything spread out in my bedroom. It looks like the aftermath of a huge sale at Wal Mart. Eddie learns new words everyday. His new word is "snack" and he says it with so much passion and desperation you'd be sure he's never seen a full meal. I want to say that MOST of the snacks he's allowed are generally healthful. I worry about us going to the doctors and he says something like "snack, pop?" and she thinks I feed him nothing but Cheetos and diet Coke. (But really, if I gave him all the good food, what would I eat?) If I do say so myself, I've been pretty good about doing my pilates and/or walking on the treadmill. I do at least 1/2 hour every day that the Husband works, meaning 5-6 days a week. However, I don't think I've lost a pound. I really think it just makes me hungrier. Stupid body - eat the fat stores! That's what they're for, and here's a news flash - we don't even need them. I promise, we won't have to live off of them. We have a fridge AND a chest freezer - let them store the fat, you just let it go. So there ya go.

Happy Easter, Everyone

I debated, internally, how Easter-y to make this post, but the truth is, either you believe the Resurrection which Christians celebrate on Easter, or you don't. If you don't, I'm not trying to preach at you; this isn't intended as anything but my joyous celebration of that which I believe. He is Risen! Praise the God who became like us to save us! Praise the God who died in our place, taking our burden and setting us free! Praise the God who appeared to a grieving woman, a woman who had had demons and been an outcast, and who sent her as the first harbinger of the Good News! He is risen, indeed!

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred Thirty-Eight Appetizer When you travel, which mode of transportation do you prefer? To get to a particular destination in a hurry? Airplane. For vacation, I really, really loved the cruise. Soup Have you ever met a blogging friend in person? Not yet, though I knew one before we started blogging Salad When was the last time you were really, really tired? A couple weeks ago when (long story short) I basically sat up all night because Eddie would only sleep if I was holding him. Main Course If you could have dinner with any one fictional character from a book or movie, who would it be? Hmm, that's tough. Han Solo? mmm, Han Solo. Maybe Fletch from the Fletch books. I really think we'd get along. Dessert Fill in the blank: One day, I hope to see _______________. Europe, India, Japan, and a few other places.

Clear and Present Danger

Usually, in my blog, I do attempt some humor or lightness. The more serious ones tend to me about me, or the occasional rants. But, folks, I am serious - dead serious - today. There is no doubt that we are fast approaching a nexus in our history, a point where if we teeter over, we face a grave and possibly permanent threat to our freedoms. Listen up, my friends, for sadly, this is no joke. The First Amendment to the US Constitution (quoted below) precludes our government from policing our thoughts and speech. While there may not be laws being passed per se threatening this all-important right, there is a definite trend in the US against this basic right. Hear me clearly when I say, if we lose the right to say what we think, to share our opinions, however bizarre, ugly or insane, none of our other liberties will matter. You cannot lose your ability to speak your mind without losing the ownership of your thoughts and that is what is happening. "Political Correctness", an idea which started off as a way of ensuring polite speech, has run rampant - even to the point where newscasters during the recent crisis between Iran and the UK refrained from using the word "hostage" because using that word in conjunction with Iran is politically incorrect, EVEN THOUGH THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE. Instead, they were "detained". British soldiers, who were in Iraqi waters (that has been proven, NOT in Iran, got it?) are captured and held against their will by a country they are NOT currently at war with. That is a hostage. Not using the word hostage implies agreement with the Iranian government and makes us complicit in their actions. This is where political correctness is leading us. In England, they will no longer be teaching the Holocaust or Crusades. Because it might make people feel bad. Don't believe me? See the story here. Let's not teach history if it hurts feelings. Scientists trying to show that global warming is not caused by humans and/or is not the hideous danger we keep hearing that is, anyone who says for any reason that homosexuals shouldn't marry, Christians, they are all being systematically shut down, shouted down and called Nazis, hate-mongers, evil, bigots. Love her or hate her, Dr. Laura got absolutely creamed a few years ago for saying that homosexuality is not the biological norm. That's all she said, I personally heard the episode that aired when she said that, and it's true. Put your emotions aside and think about the statement. But she got lambasted up and down the news channels, Internet etc. If you think I'm making this up, try stating one of these opinions in a group go here for more examples. Look at politicians who have said any of these things. Whether you agree with them or not is not the point. If you allow ANY viewpoint to be shut down because someone doesn't like it, what is to stop someone from shutting down yours? We need to protect our right to say and think and believe what we want, and we need to start now. Honestly, I can't recommend a single course of action. I don't know who to tell you to write to, but at the very least be aware. Don't let the fear of being called hateful override your good sense. Please, please, don't look the other way while your rights are being stolen. Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Open Your Eyes, Look Up to the Skies and See

Last night while letting the dog out, the Husband says "The sky and the moon look weird." I immediately went to the door to see, not just because if someone says something looks weird you want to see it, either. I'm sure some of you see where I'm going here. Now, turns out that what the Husband meant was that the moon was unusually bright and with the "picture perfect" clouds around it, he thought it looked "like a movie set or something". But that's not why I had look. Aliens, of course. No, I've never been abducted and probed, nor do I believe that any humans have been. I don't think the sightings that are reported are scout ships. I don't think we've contacted aliens and I sure don't think we ought to. As I was trying to explain to the blissfully disbelieving Husband, I'm not even saying that there ARE aliens, but mark my words, if they do ever show up, they are not coming to be our friends and it's not going to go well for us. Humans, I mean. Me, maybe, because my friend is planning to build a nice bunker in a missle silo where we'll be hiding out and watching whatever was on his TiVo when the plantery communications are knocked out. If the aliens come, they will be coming for one of a very few reasons:

1. They want us for food. Let's face it, humans are delicious and numerous.
2. They want our world for its resources or for farming. In this case, we are pretty much just in the way. Like any farm, if an animal is eating the crops (or using the resources), extermination is easiest. And if it's resources they're after, the sooner the better.
3. They want slave labor. Yes, many of us are flabby and weak, but with some appropriate retraining, most will be stronger and healthier and the rest will be dead.
4. This is unlikely, but it's our best case scenario - they are some sort of ecologists who just want a small sample for their intergalatic zoo. Don't count on it.

As I told the Husband, one of these, or a combination of them, is not going to go well with us. Even if, and I wouldn't even set odds on this one, they show up like the Vulcans, just wantin' to get to know us and be our pals, take a lesson from history. What happens when two cultures collide? Disease, death, struggle, violence. Never works well.

So really, our greatest hope, in the event that some offworld visitors drop by is that we (meaning you and me, friend, not the entire race) are somehow more aesthetically pleasing to our new Evil Overlords and they take us home to Mrs. Evil Overlord to be a pampered pet. We'll be trained to sit and speak and be carried around in handbags. At this point, the Husband seemed to be having some sort of giggling problem, especially when I told him that I'd be the one laughing when he's wearing a rhinestone collar with a tag that says "Zorgblatt".

Zorgblatt won't find it so funny when they do to him what we do to our male pets.

Save The Cheerleader . . .

If you didn't read the title and mentally add "Save the world", you probably won't care much about this post. See I'm a big Heroes fan and the Husband and I had a little mini-Marathon yesterday, so it's all really fresh. I don't know if I can wait another couples weeks for the next new ones, but it's not like I have a choice, right? That's not what this post is about. No worries, no spoilers, just general comments. So, let me just start with Save the Cheerleader, Save the World. Sure, it's a great tag-line, very catchy, mysterious and whatnot, but come on, cheerleader? I mean, really, I know that it's a comic book and everyone is hot in comic books and that it's aimed at men/boys and whatever, but the cheerleaders already get all the attention. Hey, network people, there are chicks watching, too, and we're not the sort who were cheerleaders, I'm guessing. We were the ones who made fun of and were made of by the cheerleaders. How about playing to us for a change? How about "Save the Tuba Player, Save the World". Or Save the Yearbook Editor? or the the Valedictorian? I'm just saying, she could still be a hot teenage girl, but can't she be a hot teenage girl NERD? It's make-believe after all, so it could totally happen. Second, and this goes for X-Men and people who have accidents with radioactive materials as well, where are the people with the totally useless mutant abilities? Maybe Mohinder and Dr. Xavier just aren't interested in them, which doesn't seem fair, but I want to know. I want to hear about the girl who can change her fingernail color at will, the guy who can tell by looking at you how many hairs are in your eyebrows! Or someone who can fall asleep instantly at will (not that this isn't a great talent, but not particularly helpful - "Criminals are robbing the bank - what will you do?" "Just take a little nap, I guess.") If people are getting awesome talents, shouldn't there also be people with not-so-awesome powers? How would "evolution" know what powers would be cool and what would be less helpful? Just saying. Oh, and yes, I was briefly a cheerleader, but that was in Junior High, before I knew better.