Jami's Role Models, continued . ..

I can't talk about fiction character role models without mentioning the Big One. I had a really long IM conversation about this with someone, but for the life of me, I can't remember who. So, if it was you, feel free to skip this one, you've heard it. Major Margaret Houlihan - If you aren't a fan of M*A*S*H, the name doesn't mean much to you. If you were a casual watcher, you probably remember that she was "Hot Lips Houlihan" and had an affair with a married man. But there's more to this nurse than meets the eye and here's what I learned from Margaret:

1. You Can Be Friends With Guys. In charge of the nurses and outranking them all, Margaret never quite fit in as "one of the girls". She ended up hanging out with the doctors, even if she had a sort of love/hate thing going on with Hawkeye. This lesson became super important to me in 6th grade when I learned that most girls are mean and boys are way eaiser to understand and get along with.
2. A Woman Can Be Tough AND Feminine, and Even Have a Soft Side. Margaret's a tough cookie. She runs a tight ship with the best nurses in the army. When someone had to stay behind or go into danger, she always went herself instead of risking another nurse, even with her fear of loud noises. She stood up for herself, told off people who needed to be told off and never backed down from a fight. But Hot Lips was all woman, and had the girly touches to prove it. In her tent, she'd be wearing a lovely asian-style bathrobe. Flowers usually lived sat in her quarters. Instead of a short "practical" haircut, she kept her hair blond and long, letting it down when the occasion called for it. I thought she was beautiful, even in her fatigues, and I still think about her sometimes when I put my hair up into a high bun, as she often wore. She might have seemed cold, but when the stray dog who'd been around camp died, she broke down. We saw glimpses of her heart, which was a good one, just well protected.
3. Don't Let 'Em Treat You Bad. Sure, the major made a few poor choices when it came to love. Frank was a weasel, but he was convenient. And when he didn't do right by her, she made him pay. He'd be forgiven, but he had to earn it. She ditched him for a guy who seemed perfect on paper, Colonel Donald Penobscot. Donald appeared to have it all, army career, high rank, good family, good looks, not married. It didn't take long for her to find out he was cheating, though and when she did, she kicked him to the curb. No blubbering and begging him to come back, no blaming herself for not being good enough. She recognized that he was a bum and she'd made a mistake, and she set up her finances, called a lawyer and got out of the marriage.
4. A Mistake Isn't Permanent. As mentioned above, Margaret picked a few losers to dated (and marry), but she seemed to learn from each mistake, and at least made new ones. She conquered her alcoholism. She overcame fears. When she found herself off course, she corrected, apologized to anyone she had to and kept on moving.
5. The Rules Matter. Major Houlihan liked order. She appreciated the chain of command and a staff that runs like a well-oiled machine. In a world that often seemed lost in chaos, Margaret clung to the Rules and the Book because someone had to, even when it made her unpopular.

Lastly, I'd have to mention Morticia Addams. Before you laugh, think about this - "Tish" had a husband who clearly adored her. She lived in a mansion with servants. Her children obeyed her and lived up to her expectations, even if they were different from ours. Morticia was gorgeous (as played by Carolyn Jones, see pics here. I always thought Angelica Houston wasn't delicate enough to be Morticia), she dressed with such elegence and style and she always held herself with such confidence and grace. They were wealthy enough that she and Gomez didn't have to work. I dearly wanted to be her.