Open Your Eyes, Look Up to the Skies and See

Last night while letting the dog out, the Husband says "The sky and the moon look weird." I immediately went to the door to see, not just because if someone says something looks weird you want to see it, either. I'm sure some of you see where I'm going here. Now, turns out that what the Husband meant was that the moon was unusually bright and with the "picture perfect" clouds around it, he thought it looked "like a movie set or something". But that's not why I had look. Aliens, of course. No, I've never been abducted and probed, nor do I believe that any humans have been. I don't think the sightings that are reported are scout ships. I don't think we've contacted aliens and I sure don't think we ought to. As I was trying to explain to the blissfully disbelieving Husband, I'm not even saying that there ARE aliens, but mark my words, if they do ever show up, they are not coming to be our friends and it's not going to go well for us. Humans, I mean. Me, maybe, because my friend is planning to build a nice bunker in a missle silo where we'll be hiding out and watching whatever was on his TiVo when the plantery communications are knocked out. If the aliens come, they will be coming for one of a very few reasons:

1. They want us for food. Let's face it, humans are delicious and numerous.
2. They want our world for its resources or for farming. In this case, we are pretty much just in the way. Like any farm, if an animal is eating the crops (or using the resources), extermination is easiest. And if it's resources they're after, the sooner the better.
3. They want slave labor. Yes, many of us are flabby and weak, but with some appropriate retraining, most will be stronger and healthier and the rest will be dead.
4. This is unlikely, but it's our best case scenario - they are some sort of ecologists who just want a small sample for their intergalatic zoo. Don't count on it.

As I told the Husband, one of these, or a combination of them, is not going to go well with us. Even if, and I wouldn't even set odds on this one, they show up like the Vulcans, just wantin' to get to know us and be our pals, take a lesson from history. What happens when two cultures collide? Disease, death, struggle, violence. Never works well.

So really, our greatest hope, in the event that some offworld visitors drop by is that we (meaning you and me, friend, not the entire race) are somehow more aesthetically pleasing to our new Evil Overlords and they take us home to Mrs. Evil Overlord to be a pampered pet. We'll be trained to sit and speak and be carried around in handbags. At this point, the Husband seemed to be having some sort of giggling problem, especially when I told him that I'd be the one laughing when he's wearing a rhinestone collar with a tag that says "Zorgblatt".

Zorgblatt won't find it so funny when they do to him what we do to our male pets.