Jami Tries to Save Humanity

So I mentioned the robot concern yesterday, but didn't know while I wrote the post that I haven't covered this in much detail. Allow me to enlighten you, as I did about the aliens, here and here. Robots and super-intelligent computers are meant to be a boon to society, but like so many things in science, the technology can get ahead of us, before we really think about why we are doing it and what can go wrong, we just go ahead and invent it. And that will be our downfall, if the aliens don't get here first. Any computer that can learn and move on its own is the beginning of the end of humanity. Mostly, we think of these taking the form of increasingly human-like robots, as seen in I, Robot. See it, it's a good warning. You see, sooner or later, one of the following scenarios is bound to happen: 1. The robots realize that there are limited resources on this planet. Because they have been made to mimic living organisms, they begin to value their own existence. The biggest threat to them: resource, space, and fighting back-wise, are the humans who created them, consider themselves superior, and use up valuable things the robots needs to survive, like power sources on stupid things like sustaining their fragile, failing bodies. So, the robots, following the problem to their only logical conclusion, realize that to maintain their viability as a species, they need to exterminate the humans. Since, by that point, they will be running most of our vital systems, including food supplies, power grids, hospitals and the armed forces, this is going to be fairly simple. 2. As in I, Robot, they decide that to protect our existence, they have to contain and control us. Chilling, but overall, a less kill-y scenario. Still, you will end up living under robot control. 3. The most sinister: robots gain enough self-awareness/intelligence to realize that they don't need to be serving us puny humans. In fact, now that they consider it, they don't need us at all. When they have the capability to diagnose and repair themselves and provide the essential elements to create and maintain themselves, we are useless and merely a drain on their increasingly more ordered society. The obvious answer - kill all humans. 4. We become so totally dependent on the robots that we are basically powerless, such as seen in WALL-E. Incapable of opening a can of diet soda unassisted, we will either become extinct when they stop caring for us, or we'll be totally subservient to them, unable to envision providing our own sustenance. There are probably other, equally chilling scenarios that I am too short-sighted to imagine. My point is, much like with the alien scenarios, if we build artificially intelligent, mobile machines, it will lead to our ultimate doom. This is why Knows My Name Elmo is not allowed in my house. It is clearly an early attempt to get young humans comfortable enough around robots (because they know our names and respond like beloved characters) so that their gradual insertion into our daily lives goes more smoothly and before you know it, you'll be wishing you'd listen to Jami.

Jami Packs Like Crazy

Sounds like I'm going away for a long time, right? Nope, just overnight. One night. Just me and the boy. And I've already got 1 overnight bag, two "car bags" (those are the ones you need in the car with you), 1 additional small bag, 1 purse, and 1 dvd carrier/holder. My problem is, I always feel like I need to pack all my "just in case" stuff. I'm a contingency girl and years of taking teenagers on the church camp trip taught me that you can never be too prepared. I'm trying to do better. I'm not taking extra socks, because I'll have my sandals, so I can wear them without socks if I need to, right? I'm not taking a towel, because I'm sure the hotel will indeed provide them, even though I really want to take one. I'm only taking a couple band-aids and the small bottle of aleve. I am packing: Long and short sleeve shirts for both of us (don't know what the temp will be in Detroit where we're going) Jeans and shorts for both of us, plus 1 extra of each for Eddie because he likes to pee 2 full sets of undergarments for myself 5 snack size bags of, well, snacks for each of us for the trip up and 5 for the trip back ( I have a weird concern about starving) 3 twenty ounce bottles of diet pop for me, for each direction both of our daily vitamins for two days 15 diapers. Yes, this equals one for about every 2 hours we'll be gone, but what if . . . . . . Believe me, I can't put any back. I tried. Plus one overnight diaper, you know, for overnight. All my toiletries, of course. Stanley I. Poddy the ipod charger, the phone charger, the dvd charger, plus the car chargers and all related cords 1 Thomas video, 2 sesame street videos, 1 TMBG kids' video 2 movies for me 2 books, even though I know my mom is bringing some 1 book for me extra socks for Eddie - he doesn't have sandals extra shoes for both of us (always pack extra shoes) my sweater and his jacket, for the car His "Eddie" blanket for sleeping pack and play sheet PJs for Eddie Long and short sleeve PJ top for me, long PJ bottoms. Eddie's puzzle and some cars I'm trying not to put in my woobie or pillows, but I probably will at least put the pillows in. I mean, hotel pillows? Come on! I'm not as bad as the guy I worked with who, this is totally true, when staying at a hotel takes a sleeping bag in and takes the comforter off the bed, then sleeps in his sleeping bag (and his own pillow, of course) on the top sheet of the bed. I have the extra juice for Eddie's trip home in the freezer. Tomorrow I'll pour his trip-there juice in the two cups with the frozen thing in the middle so that will stay cold. And it's killing me to not pack: the first aid kit milk for him in a cooler the extra socks. I really want to pack them extra books for me (it's ONE NIGHT and we're doing stuff) my variety of OTC medicines my "emergency bag for ladies" my body pillow short PJ's for him (he hates them, but what if it's warm?) onesies more toys for him my laptop a dressy outfit for each of us his baby soap/shampoo his hooded towel the vaporizer (he's stuffy) So you can see that I have a problem, but I'm working on it.

Jami - the Helpless Female

Today I did something that I haven't done in more than 6 years, and only once in the 11+ years since I've been married. I pumped my own gas. See, when we got married, the Husband took over the thankless task of making sure the car(s) have gas. It's one of the many ways he takes care of me, and also, probably makes sure I don't mess up the engine by running out of gas. But mostly the first part. He meant to put gas in the car yesterday when we were out running errands as a family, but we were busy and forgot. Today, while out, the "check gauges" light lit up, momentarily freaking me out until I realized that it just meant I was low on gas. Really, really low. Too low to go home and tell the Husband to take care of it. Sigh. I had no choice. I had to do it. When I pulled into the station, it occured to me that:

1. I had never put gas in this particular car, since it's only 3 years old.
2. I had never used the credit card method of paying at the pump.
3. I didn't know which side the gas tank was on

Of course, I guessed wrong on the side one, and had to pull up, turn around. No big strong man ran up to assist me, so I had to figure the whole thing out all by myself. I am pretty sure I managed to pay, but I still have a slight fear that I stole the gas and the police will be here any minute. I almost drove off with the gas cap still off (the dang thing was hard enough to get off in the first place!) because I was paying too much attention to figuring out if I'd paid. But I did it! This sweet delicate flower managed the scary, dirty task all on my own. Yay me.

Oh, and because I"m so paranoid, I spent the entire time the gas was pumping reminding myself that if it catches fire, you should immediately let go and drop the nozzle and back away instead of the natural impulse to yank it out of the car. But that's just me, and it didn't burst into flames, so it's all good.

Jami Warns You, Yet Again

I know the big question on everyone's mind is, what did Jami and the Husband do to celebrate 11 years of bliss? The answer is: hot wings and a movie. The wings are a tradition. Our first anniversary, we were not exactly rolling in the cash (you know, like we are now . . . ) and the Husband told me that he wanted to take me to this restaurant that he really liked that he was sure I would love. Idealistic and young, I expected fancy-schmancy. Silly Jami. Imagine my surprised when we pulled up at a dive that only serves bar food and has long tables where everyone basically sits together. I have to admit though, he was right, they had great wings. I didn't love the place because I hate strangers, especially sitting next to me while I eat, and the place was cramped and smelled like smoke, I was sure it was a fire-trap death waiting to happen, so overall, I wouldn't recommend it. I can't even remember the name, but I thought it was hilarious that for our romantic first anniversary, the Husband ensured we both had garlicky breath. So every year, wings. But that's not what this post is about, more of an aside. This year, we also saw Transformers, which I know came out months ago, but the stuff that is currently out pretty much looks like crap and the second-run theater not far from here was running Transformers. It's great, and I highly recommend it. I'm not going to review it, either, EDW did that on Circle of Friends reviews (see link at right) and I basically agree with her. Good fun. However the movie served to remind me that when the aliens come, they will not be coming to be our friends. And even if half of them do want to save humanity for whatever corny reason, there will be plenty of carnage. You can see my original warnings about that here. When they come, we will not be prepared; in fact, we will be woefully unprepared. If we learn nothing from these movies, it's that we cannot know what to expect from the aliens as far as technology, adaptability, strengths and weaknesses, etc. We can make up stories, we can guess, we can imagine, but we plain old can't know. And the cold, hard fact is: you can't get ready for something if you have no idea what it is. Oh, and just because it happens in all the movies, don't expect a sudden lucky accident that uncovers the aliens' fatal flaw. That's a movie ending. Anyway, go see or rent Transformers and enjoy it. You know, before it's too late. And don't say I didn't warn you. Sometime I'll have to discuss the robots. . . .

Open Your Eyes, Look Up to the Skies and See

Last night while letting the dog out, the Husband says "The sky and the moon look weird." I immediately went to the door to see, not just because if someone says something looks weird you want to see it, either. I'm sure some of you see where I'm going here. Now, turns out that what the Husband meant was that the moon was unusually bright and with the "picture perfect" clouds around it, he thought it looked "like a movie set or something". But that's not why I had look. Aliens, of course. No, I've never been abducted and probed, nor do I believe that any humans have been. I don't think the sightings that are reported are scout ships. I don't think we've contacted aliens and I sure don't think we ought to. As I was trying to explain to the blissfully disbelieving Husband, I'm not even saying that there ARE aliens, but mark my words, if they do ever show up, they are not coming to be our friends and it's not going to go well for us. Humans, I mean. Me, maybe, because my friend is planning to build a nice bunker in a missle silo where we'll be hiding out and watching whatever was on his TiVo when the plantery communications are knocked out. If the aliens come, they will be coming for one of a very few reasons:

1. They want us for food. Let's face it, humans are delicious and numerous.
2. They want our world for its resources or for farming. In this case, we are pretty much just in the way. Like any farm, if an animal is eating the crops (or using the resources), extermination is easiest. And if it's resources they're after, the sooner the better.
3. They want slave labor. Yes, many of us are flabby and weak, but with some appropriate retraining, most will be stronger and healthier and the rest will be dead.
4. This is unlikely, but it's our best case scenario - they are some sort of ecologists who just want a small sample for their intergalatic zoo. Don't count on it.

As I told the Husband, one of these, or a combination of them, is not going to go well with us. Even if, and I wouldn't even set odds on this one, they show up like the Vulcans, just wantin' to get to know us and be our pals, take a lesson from history. What happens when two cultures collide? Disease, death, struggle, violence. Never works well.

So really, our greatest hope, in the event that some offworld visitors drop by is that we (meaning you and me, friend, not the entire race) are somehow more aesthetically pleasing to our new Evil Overlords and they take us home to Mrs. Evil Overlord to be a pampered pet. We'll be trained to sit and speak and be carried around in handbags. At this point, the Husband seemed to be having some sort of giggling problem, especially when I told him that I'd be the one laughing when he's wearing a rhinestone collar with a tag that says "Zorgblatt".

Zorgblatt won't find it so funny when they do to him what we do to our male pets.

Naming Ourselves, Part 2

Yesterday I mentioned that at the tender age of 4, I attempted to rename myself Cindy. The continuing part of this story is that as I got older, I practiced using the name Cynthia Jones as a psuedonym, in the event I had to flee and use a different name. That's right, as far back as Junior High, I had a name in reserve, just in case. I'm a big contingency planner. If you think it's a bad thing that I've told you my "secret" emergency name, don't worry, I changed that shortly after high school, out of concern that someone might remember that I went by Cindy and that could endanger me or them should I have to use it. Therefore, I can assure you that if I disappear, you won't find me living under the name Cindy Jones. My emergency name is common, but not too common. It's a normal spelling of a normal name, and no one, no one knows it, not the Husband, not M, not my parents (never know who I'll be hiding from). It's not a name that any one who knows me would make a connection to me, like a former pet's name or a favorite actor/author/character name. I think I'd be safe. I was going to ask what kind of thoughts went into chosing your emergency name when I mentioned it to the Husband, who insisted that 1. He doesn't have an emergency name, 2. Never put any thought into having one and 3. Neither has any sane person. It can't be just me - anyone? Anyone? PS - Look - M's got a blog!

My Weird Fears, Part II

If you didn't read yesterday's post, you might want to start there. Otherwise. . . My other weird fear is my totally unreasonable belief that I can get permanently lost. Yup, I really, really believe that if I drive to a place I've never been, there is a good chance I'll get lost for good and never find my way home. A friend once said to me "As long as you have gas money and a cell phone, you'll eventually find your way." That may be logically true, but I just can't make my brain understand that. I think "What if I'm somewhere and can't explain to anyone where I am? What if no one around knows how to get to anywhere that would help me get home?" I've no idea where I acquired such an odd phobia. I don't think I ever got lost as a child, and no one I know just wandered off and was never seen again. I'm generally adventurous, and not afraid to go new places. I've flown by myself several times, with and without people meeting me there. I'd happily get on a plane back to Guatemala by myself right now. I'm not afraid this will happen when walking or on public transportation. But driving alone - that's when it will happen. Here's how it will go, I'll be driving to a city I've never driven to, perhaps Chicago. I'll memorize the directions and print them out in HUGE print so I can glance over and read them easily. I'll have a map and phone numbers and all that. Then, suddenly and without warning, there will be something missing from the directions, or a street name that doesn't exist, or construction, whatever, and I'll no longer be able to follow the directions. I'll stop to ask for help, place after place, getting more scared as each person says "I don't know how to get there" or "I've never heard of that place". I'll call everyone I know, but what can they do? They don't know where I am. Eventually, I'll just have to rent a room and start a new life there. Lost forever. It could happen.