It's My Quirks That Make You Love Me

My father says we all judge normal by ourselves, meaning that deep down - we all think that we're normal and sane. We judge the sanity of others by that criteria. I agree with him for the most part, although I do frequently think that I am not as normal as I try to pretend to be. We all have our quirks, right? Of course. I thought I was the only one who narrated my own life until I saw Scrubs (yes,I know it's fictional, but the fact that someone wrote it means they thought of it, so it's not just me). I thought I was the only one who talked to figments of my imagination until Scott Adams blogged about it here. So maybe there are a limited number of quirks and we are all just a different collection of quirks. Like, in the grand scheme of things, I'm a 23, 107, 195, 205-217, 998, 1059 and 4144, you know? So here are a few of my little "things" - let me know if you (or someone you love) has any of these or if I really am slightly insane:

• There is a "right" and "wrong" side to enter the shower. The right side to enter is the side of the curtain furthest from the showerhead. If you get into the shower on the showerhead side, you're basically going in the back and you're doing it wrong.
• Cheese and egg are both great and taste great together, but look horrible when they touch. I can't eat it if I see the cheese touching the egg.
• My feet, and Eddie's (for now), are adorable. Everyone else's feet are disgusting and should remain hidden at all times.
• String or cotton should never come into contact with teeth in anyway.
• This is the basis for the beginning of my story, but once it's dark out, I can't look into the mirror if I'm in the bathroom alone, and I avoid most of the other mirrors, too. One thing horror movies/TV shows have taught us is that when you look in the mirror - that's when the bad thing shows up.
• If someone lets you into traffic, you better give "the wave" - you what I mean - one hand, raised up, either in the middle of the car, so it can be seen from behind, or out the window if the weather's warm. When someone goes ahead and doesn't give the Wave, that just rustles my cattle.

Okay, so that's a (brief) look at my crazy. What's your nutty little secret?

When You Don't Belong to You Anymore

I'm all for personal rights. I'm somewhat on the libertarian side of the right and I'm all for letting idiots make idiotic choices as long as they aren't hurting or stealing from others and as long as I don't have to pay for their idiocy. But something's been bugging me lately, and I'm going to tell you all about it. Look, if you want to marry a jerk, a druggie, a felon, or whatever, have a great time. Don't complain to me after you got yourself into it, but hey, if you think you love some guy who beats you twice a day, well - that's your call and make sure you keep your health insurance up to date. If you're a guy who wants to marry a crack ho who steals your valuables and hooks for cash, knock yourself out and get a good safe for your watch. BUT, if you choose to marry someone who is evil, a criminal and/or addicted, get whatever tubes you have tied!! You signed up for that, some poor innocent kid didn't. Once you have kids, you've forfeited your right to be a self-destructive (or other destructive) moron. Sorry, turn in your irresponsible card and get on the Parent Train. This sounds like a no-brainer, I know, but somewhere along the way, parental responsibility got chucked out the window and replaced by "my needs" or "fullfillment" or "finding myself" or some such crap. I watched a reality show last week in which a couple had beat each other bloody. They looked like escaped extras from a corny horror flick and were trying to convince the police that they were fine and nothing was wrong, even though they both had blood dripping and smeared from head to toe (seriously!!) and several big bruises, cuts and bumps. The Husband and I were laughing at their foolishness until a door opened and their THREE little kids came out and saw their parents like that. The mom's big concern - she needed a cigarette before she got hauled off to jail. Later, seeing herself in the mirror, she started to cry, realizing her kids had seen her like that. But it's a little late, then, doncha think? This goes for more than extreme cases like the above. Multiple step-families being blended and unblended, parents acting like teens, parents choosing a new sweetheart over their kids (I see this more than you'd believe), allowing kids to make grown-up decisions - come on, people! Kids aren't accessories or pets. Stop treating them like it. Once you make 'em - they own you.

Tag of Three

PW issued a sort of general tag, so I'm game. Tag of Three Three things that scare me: Suffocation (including drowning/strangling) Something Happening to the Baby Being permanently lost Three people who make me laugh: The Husband Tim Homer Simpson Three things I love: laughing until I cry reading Steve-O the TiVo Three things I hate: Overly ridiculous society-crippling PC crap Meanness being cold Three things I don’t understand: how radio signals make sound but I can't hear them people who have kids as accessories trigonometry Three things on my desk: Yay! I have no desk! Three things I’m doing right now: Writing this watching Law & Order listening to Eddie fight sleep over the baby monitor Three things I want to do before I die: Visit Europe Adopt at least one more child learn to play a more useful instrument Three things I can do: read and do pretty much anything at the same time plan a great church social teach you to swim Three things you should listen to: Me! Dr. Laura (if only to realize you are not nearly as messed up as the people who call her) Anything by Third Day or the Newsboys Three things you should never listen to: politicians (copied from PW, but she's right) anything that has to do with celebrities whose names are joined anyone saying the opposite of what I said Three things I’d like to learn: Piano (as in, how to play) Krav Maga Spanish or Mandarin Three favourite foods: Mac and Cheese Grilled ham and cheese sandwich Fresh hot bread Three beverages I drink regularly: Diet Coke with Lime Hot tea (all varieties) Milk Three TV shows/Books I watched/read as a kid: The Addams Family M*A*S*H the Hardy Boys books Three people I would like to tag: Anyone who wants to do it Anyone who doesn't want to, but can't think of anything else to write today Anyone else

Doncha Hate it . .

. . . when your one-year-old goes all Gangsta on you?

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred Twenty Eight Appetizer If you could take lessons to learn any musical instrument, which would you want to learn? Either piano or guitar. I'd probably rather learn piano, but you can't play the piano around the campfire and I love singing around the campfire, but don't have anyone to play guitar for me. Anyone who plays guitar want to go camping this summer? Soup Have you ever mistaken a person for someone else? Oh my yes, all the time. I once talked to someone for several minutes on the subway - I thought she was a school classmate I hadn't seen since graduation - before she said "Do I know you?" and I said "Chris, it's me, Jami" and she said "My name isn't Chris and I don't know any Jamis". Also I used to not wear my glasses when I was in high school, so I mistook people all the time. Salad On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how well do you keep secrets? 7, depending on the seriousness of the secret Main Course What's the closest you've ever been to a dangerous animal? about 18 inches from the lions at MGM Grand in Vegas. Of course, there is thick serious glass there .. . Dessert When was the last time you lost your patience? Goodness, when was the last time I FOUND it?

Can't Be Just Me

So, one of the bulletin boards I visit has a thread each week where one posts photos of the "theme". This week the theme is the interior of our homes. Everyone has lovely, neat homes. I have a house that is decorated with geek delights and randomly placed toys - mostly Eddie's. Am I the only one who looks at her house and thinks it looks like it was decorated by a frat? I have the Madagascar penguins on the curio cabinet and cartoon character glasses inside of it. I have a chia pet and a lava lamp. Our "art" is frequently related to movies. I have more movies and books than small town libraries.
Yes, that's me and the Husband super-imposed in the cast of TNG, so what's your point?

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred & Twenty Seven Appetizer Which television shows do you just refuse to miss? Scrubs. Funniest show on TV, hands down. Soup Who did you last speak to on the telephone? The Husband. Just called from work to tell me something funny he'd just found out. Salad How many pillows do you keep on your bed? Including Madrid the Body Pillow? 5, I think. Main Course Name one addition to your computer (software, hardware, etc.) that you'd love to have. An administrative assistant ;-) Probably a DVD burner Dessert What is your favorite foreign food? That's tough. What do we consider foreign? Pizza? I'm a big fan of Crispy Duck from the one Chinese place. I like most of the indian food I've tried. Labad's grocery has excellent gyros.

By Popular Demand

There's another new piece of my story up here and if you missed the beginning of the story,just love to reread my glorious prose, everything up to the new piece is here. I'd forgotten how good writing makes me feel, I'm going to spend more time doing that, so hopefully it won't be a month until the next part.

Pittsburgh Pride

You are 100% Pittsburgh.

 

Great job! There's nooooo doubt about it. You're from Da Burgh. You deserve a reward, so go have an Ahrn City or two. And GO STILLERS!

How Pittsburgh Are You
See All Our Quizzes

I doubt you'd expect any less from a third generation (on both sides) Pittsburgher who loves it here. Thanks to PW for the link.

My Brain's A Trophy

I was watching Sesame Street yesterday - not my first choice, but infinitely better than the Doodlebops, who may or may not be evil - and a cartoon caterpillar was singing about exercises. She sang about jumping and her back feet jumped, then her next set of feet and so on; at no point was she every completely airborne, if you know what I mean. This made me wonder why the animators had drawn it that way, just funnier I guess. Then I started wondering what animals can and can't jump. Not a running jump like horses or Joxer getting onto the couch, but standing still, straight up and down jump. I don't think the dog can do that, but really, I'm not sure. I mean, he's got knees on all his legs, but they don't exactly coordinate, you know? Not like that? It occurred to me that the only way I personally could test this theory would be to sneak up on the dog when he's standing still (pretty rare) and scare him enough that he'd jump straight up. Then I realized what I was thinking about and started to giggle. You know how things can just hit you wrong? I couldn't stop giggling about the fact that I'd been plotting to startle the dog in order to learn if dogs can jump. Eddie, who loves a good joke even if he doesn't get it, started giggling along with me, and there we sat, laughing like idiots while Sesame Street sang about the number 11 (a great number, sure, but not funny). Him chuckling made me laugh harder and before long I had tears streaming down my face and Eddie was shrieking with laughter. It was at this point I decided I need to talk to adults more. Re-read the title and see if you get it now. It's a pun.

The Circle of Life

So we spent a half-hour running in circles today. Actually, just one circle, the "loop" of our first floor. Eddie and I had just finished lunch and he grabbed my hand and tugged me around once, twice, and so on until about 10 minutes had gone by and I'd lost track of how many laps we'd completed. We did occasionally stop on the heating vent to feel it blow hot air on our feet, then off again. After the first 10ish minutes, Eddie let go of my hand, took a few steps, looked back and took a few more. That continued for most of this lap - step, step, step, check for Mommy, step, step. I followed diligently as we did another five minutes of walking; he checked on my progress less and less often. We stopped on the heater again, and he took a few steps into the living room, walking off his "track" that I'm sure is probably now permanently part of the carpet. He sat down and patted the floor, so I flopped down beside him. Assuring himself that I was properly settled, he got back up and started off again. When I started to get to my feet, he gave me a vigorous head shake, a good "noooo!" and pointed to where I'd been. I resumed sitting and off he went. Every two or three laps, he come over to me - walking up until his face was just inches from mine. He'd get a big grin and say "Hi!" (new favorite word). When I said "Hi!" back, he'd give me a big kiss, turn and go back to jogging. I hope that this is what our lives will be. I hope I'll raise him well enough that he'll know when to let go of my hand, know when he doesn't need his Mommy following a step behind. And when he's running around with the many things I hope will be a part of his life some day - wife, kids, hobbies, church, a job he loves - I hope he'll take a moment every so often to stop by, say hi and give me a big kiss.

We Become Needy

Fear not, loyal readers, our family is not on the edge of poverty. However, we did receive - in a roundabout way - a donation of groceries meant for a needy family. As M pointed out, we are a single-income family with a baby, so every penny counts, especially when the donation saves me a trip to the grocery store. Here's how it went down . . . . I teach Sunday School, and for whatever reason, my classroom has become the recepticle for all things that someone doesn't want, but doesn't know what else to do with. We've been the lucky recipients of such marvels as: a large console TV (working, but so old it wasn't cable-ready and had knobs), a broken lamp, a bag of used (but clean, I think) socks, a bag of various fabric pieces, books, basketballs and a chalkboard. I've asked, begged and threatened people to get this to stop, but it continues. A couple weeks ago, these bags of groceries appeared with no explanation or owner. Apparently, on Christmas Eve or Christmas a kindly family gave some member of our congregation the bags with the request that they be distributed to a needy family. A few people seemed to have vague knowledge of this, but no one is really sure. Anyway, our church is not really set up like that. There's a local food bank - we're not it. We don't have any members of our congregation who are currently in the financial straits that would require a gift of groceries. Since no one really knew what was in the bags or who they were meant for, the bags were deposited in my room and promptly forgotten. Yesterday, after questioning as many members as I could corner, I decided to take them home. No one had any better suggestions. This brings me to my main point - everyone should volunteer, donate, and help out where they can, but please, when you do so - use your head. If you want to donate food, find an organization that does that and ask them what's appropriate (our bags included meat products, which had been sitting unrefridgerated for weeks by the time I got the bags), and then, donate something you'd actually eat. Having been around the food bank, I've seen how people clean out their cupboards and donate the stuff no one actually eats - cans of artichoke hearts, pumpkin pie filling, spam. If you're donating furniture, call ahead, be sure the place TAKES furniture and ask when they can accept it. For clothes, most places just pitch stuff that'd really stained or torn - you're just wasting their time and money donating that. For all your stuff, check out the FreeCycle in your area - get rid of your old stuff and you even get to meet the person who really needs it. You can even find stuff you want on there, sometimes. So, thanks to the family who donated to us, we do really appreciate it, especially the bread, which I'd have had to pick up at the store on the way home. The "chocolate-flavored chip" cookies have an odd taste, but the baby likes them. And the rest is all being put to good use.

Friday Feast

Feast One Hundred & Twenty Six Appetizer What comes to mind when you see the color orange? Um, oranges? Also those pylon cones, hunting vests, and pumpkins. Soup Did you ever get in trouble while you were in school? If so, what was it for? The first time I remember is when boy Jamie in my kindergarten class bet me that I couldn't stand on my chair while the teacher was out of class. I did, to prove him wrong, and of course, got caught. I cried the whole way home because I loved that teacher so much and she yelled at me. We both got over it, and she even came to my high school graduation party!! In high school, I spent the first year getting a rep with the teachers as being a good kid, and then by my senior year got away with pretty much whatever I did. Salad Which topping(s) make up your perfect pizza? That's gonna depend on my mood. The last really awesome pizza I had was peppers, onions, hot sausage, tomatoes and extra cheese. Main Course Do you believe in UFOs/aliens/etc.? Why or why not? I really don't know. It's certainly possible. However if they DO show up - it will NOT be to make friends. Take a lesson from history, folks, when two civilizations collide, especially when one is far more technologically advanced, it NEVER goes well. They will come here for one of more of the following reasons: - to use us as food, slave labor or pets/zoo exhibits - for the resources of the planet (and we're in the way) - to take the planet because they need more room Dessert What color is your bedspread/comforter/quilt? Multi-colored - one is blue/green/gold with some purply-color and the other is brown, green and white.

Because I Don't Feel Like Doing a Whole Post Today

Your results: You are Supergirl h

Supergirl 80% Wonder Woman 75% Iron Man 75% Spider-Man 70% Green Lantern 70% Superman 65% Hulk 65% The Flash 60% Batman 45% Robin 45% Catwoman 35%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent. I concur. Also, Joss Whedon, please take note, I need a job and I'd be a fantastic Wonder Woman. Thanks to PW for the link to the quiz.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Because Writing is Theraputic

There's a new piece of my story up here and if you missed the beginning of the story, or forgot what's happened (since, sorry, it's been more than a month)everything up to the new piece is here. I'd forgotten how good writing makes me feel, I'm going to spend more time doing that, so hopefully it won't be a month until the next part.

In Loving Memory of Pop-Pop

My grandfather passed away last night. This illness or whatever it was that took him, progressed too quickly and then too slowly. I am blessed that I got to say goodbye to him and that I had him for as long as I did. My memories of him these last few months will not steal the better ones of him from all the years before. I will put aside the image of the feeble, confused invalid and dwell on the man, because to remember the first is like recalling the killer and forgetting the victim. Pop-Pop told good bad jokes - silly puns and "groaners" - and always had a new one for you. He loved to bike, take long walks, golf and bowl. Pop-Pop played piano, all by ear. While he could read music, reading it just slowed him down. He only had to hear a song enough to get the melody in his head, and after that he could sit down and pick it out. After a few repetitions, he could add harmonies and play it well enough to be on stage. He played as a volunteer for more than 20 years to entertain the patients in the very home he passed away in. My grandfather served our country in the Navy during WWII, even if the most action he saw was the time he fell down the elevator shaft. He did his duty. He worked three jobs at once to support his wife and daughters. He loved his family, his friends and really, he loved people. Once, my grandmother had a silly dream. Pop-Pop conspired with me to set things up as though her dream came true. When my mom and I went to "Glamour Shots" and got all dolled up and photographed, we stopped by to show off our garish make-up. Pop-Pop, who always found something nice to say, observed us a long time and said "Well, your lipstick isn't too bad." He loved my son and I'm so glad they got to meet and that I have a picture of them together. And almost every time he saw me, he told me "you know, you're my favorite granddaughter" (our little joke, seeing as I'm his only granddaughter). Pop-Pop, I will remember you and I will miss you. There is comfort in knowing that we will meet again, even if it's a lifetime away. For while we mourn, we do not mourn as those who have no hope. I love you, Pop-Pop.

Reasoning With a One Year Old

One year olds, it turns out, are great debaters, or at least my Eddie is. Unlike other people you might try to argue with, Eddie stays fiercely on-topic. He sticks to the relevant points and doesn't give up. Earlier this week, he was climbing around and looked out the window. At the bottom of his slide rested his beloved large playground ball. We then had this conversation: Eddie: Ball Jami: Yup, that's your ball. E: Ball! (he points) Ball! J: Yes, I see it, it's outside. Where the rain is, see the rain? E: (looking disgusted, he gets down off the couch, goes to the door and pats it) Ball! (he does the signs for "more" and please" and says, with great emphasis) BALL! J: I know you want to go play ball, but it's getting dark and raining pretty hard. We'll play ball tomorrow. E: (getting annoyed)BALL-BALL-BALL! More Ball!! The conversation continued along in this vein for quite a long while. I got him his "indoor" ball. I offered him candy, I did everything I could think of to distract or entertain him, took him upstairs, even (yes, I know, it's wrong) tried to bribe him with a few Pez (which just added crunching noises to the "Ball!" demands). He would not give an inch. He would not get off-topic. He would not be dissauded. Eventually he did lose the argument, because I am bigger and meaner and simply put him in his crib with a book until he calmed down and stopped saying "ball". I'm going to have to brush up on my debating skills, though, for the day when that's not an option. I plan to use the "Because I said so and I'm the mommy" line as a closer. You can't trump the Mommy Card.

What I Got For Christmas

What you get for Christmas can be a picture of what you're about or how little your friends and family know you. Mine is the former. Here's a quick shot of a few of the things I got for Christmas:


Scrubs (2 seasons and the sountrack)
Serenity
Long underwear (because I'm always cold)
Cute underwear (because the Husband loves me)
Toe socks

I got lots more things from others, but this pile, which I arranged, but kind of ended up together fortuitously, seemed to be really "me". I also got an Italian charm bracelet, just the base, and used some of my Christmas money to get some charms. So far, I've ordered charms for:
Mommy
Wife
Mac and Cheese
Tea
Chinese Tiger (my sign)
Adoption

and they threw in a bonus free charm, which was that little cute bunny saying "not listening". So, yup, it's all me too.

And a Happy New Year

Hi folks and welcome to 2007. We ended up hanging up with some friends for the New Years, and had a great all-grown-up time - no one cried or peed themselves, which actually, wouldn't be that surprising for our outings . . . While we're on the subject of 2007, can we make this the year that we take the "and" out of the year name? I'm talking to you Professional Media, politicians and everyone else. The year is "two thousand seven" not "two thousand and seven". The "and" would indicate either a decimal point - 2000.7 or two numbers, 2000 and 7. I don't understand how this started; I mean, did you ever say "nineteen and eighty-four"? Of course not. So knock it off. And yes, I know how nerdy that is, but it's bugging me, so let's all make it our resolution to stop that. That's one you can keep even after you've stopped exercising, restarted smoking and ate an entire cheesecake :D