Jami on Display

Before we had Eddie, I really never gave much consideration to what the neighbors thought about us. Mostly, because I had no reason to. If I had to guess at that time, I'd say the neighbors would describe us as a nice, friendly professional couple. We had the very occasional party, not too loud, no drunks staggering up the street after; we kept our lawn mowed and leaves raked and we chatted with the neighbors when we were out and about. Nothing particularly unusual. But, as I mentioned, I don't think I ever even gave it a moment's thought. Now, though, I often wonder what they must think about what goes on in this house. For example, Let's say Eddie and I are playing cars in the living room and I need to go to the restroom. I will tell him that I need to "go potty" and I'll be right back. Then I go upstairs and pretty much inevitably, as soon as I am "settled", shall we say, he will start screaming "MOMMY!!! MOMMY!" Usually followed by either "where are you?" or "what are you doing?" In either case, I usually start with "I'm upstairs, I'll be right down." He never needs anything. He's never injured. He just keeps yelling and asking questions until I am forced to scream "I'M GOING POTTY!!!" Which is great during open window season. I can just picture the neighbors exchanging glances, "oh good, Jami is going potty now. I was wondering." There was the time during my first trimester of this pregnancy when I was outside by the garbage vomiting so forcefully that it caused me to wet my pants, which surprised me so much I stopped vomiting long enough to look down at myself and verify that yes, I had wet. Then, of course, back to the vomiting. I can only assume the neighbors were worried that I had started drinking too early in the day (this was before I was showing and telling). I know the neighbors hear it when Eddie pitches a fit or when I can't take it anymore and scream "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!" I worry that they hear the very odd things one says to a toddler "No, we don't put that in our nose", "Who peed in these pants?" "STOP licking the dog, I'm not going to tell you that again!!!" My only consoling factor is that all the neighbors also have kids, grown or little. The moms at least, have probably been the one announcing to the world that they are on the toilet or threatening tiny lives. Maybe the ones whose children are raving teens smile nostalgically remembering the days when the worst trouble their offspring got into was licking the dog. I like to think so.

Jami Gestates with Diabetes

So, apparently I'm borderline for gestational diabetes ("GD" to us hip mommies) or I have GD or I could have it, the medical personnel have not been entirely clear with me on this particular point, but it boils down to, right now I have to stab my fingers four times a day and follow a sort of specific "eating plan, we don't like to say diet" to ensure that my baby doesn't grow at a billion times the normal rate and explode out of me in the fashion of that little guy in Aliens. Or at least this is what I gather will happen from the doomsayers warning me not to ever even look at a cookie. Anyhow, let's start by admitting that I did not handle this entire thing with the quiet dignity you have all come to expect from me. In the sense that I flipped out on a nutritionist to the extent she went to get back up. But I did calm down enough to read the pamphlet she so helpfully provided and frankly, there are parts of this that I just have to call "shenanigans" on. My favoritest part of the pamphlet is that one one side it says "This is a great chance to get your whole family to learn healthier eating habits." Sounds great, right? I'm all for that. On the next page is the list of things to add to any meal if you're not feeling full. While the pamphlet notes that the saturated fats are "less healthy" the list includes: -bacon -mayonnaise -butter -cream -gravy -salad dressing -oil The nutritionist, who - let's face it - may have been thrown by my overreaction, even drew a helpful "UP" arrow by this list, to remind me that if I don't feel full, I have options. Now, I'm trying to teach my son to eat a variety of healthy foods. And it's snack time. Let's see, I don't feel full, so I can have . . a banana? Oops, no, that's not good, it's two "carb choices" and i can only have 1 for a snack. Yogurt? No, two and half choices. Hmmm, oh - here we go, a pound of bacon with some mayo on it? Yup! Good snacking choice. Somehow I don't feel that I am modeling the type of healthy eating habits I want him to learn. For breakfast, I've been eating Cheerios or Special K with fruit and skim milk. WRONG!!!! Why not just slam a few beers, from the perspective of my eating plan. Instead I should have 2 eggs, sausage, no milk or juice, and if I insist on having a slice of wheat toast, at least put some peanut butter on that. Hmmm. Yes, that sounds healthier. Shenanigans!!

Jami, the Mother of an Inventor

Eddie's new "thing" is inventing. He has always been a fan of attaching things to other things, but now each group of random objects is an invention, and they have been growing larger and more intricate. Currently, our entire front porch is consumed with his "best invention" (pictures below) which according to him makes honey and traps deer. Yes, both. This invention includes 6 full sized umbrellas, two chairs, a charcoal grill, a backpack, a yo-yo, a golf club, two supports from his toy box, a large tree branch (with withering leaves), several seemingly random toys, a kitchen set, a work bench, 2 baby blankets, a monkey, several flowers, a tricycle and a stroller. And more I can't remember. Then under the heading of "seemed harmless at the time", the Husband bought Eddie a roll of twine, which he's been asking for. The string started out as part of the invention, and then wandered into our house. By dinner time last night, our entire downstairs looked as though we had been attacked by a giant, drunken spider. We had to do that spy-getting-through-the-lasers maneuver to get to the kitchen. I didn't get a picture of that because my phone was upstairs and I wasn't going back through the maze to get it. I'm a big fan of creativity, so I'm trying not to complain about my front porch being useless (as in, there's no where for me to sit anymore) because I enjoy the fact that he's creating and pretending. So far, I have not seen any actual honey being produced nor deer trapped. I keep hoping though, because if I have a 3-year-old who does figure out how to manufacture "cruelty free" honey and/or trap those pesky deer, we're set for life. We'll let you know. Working on adding the golf club: The end that the honey (supposedly) comes out: The middle, still in progress: The second chair/"Secret Entrances" - you have to lift an umbrella to enter.

Even in the Darkness Every Color Can Be Found . . .

I broke from my titling convention today because it's a special post. For anyone who didn't hear, our beloved dog Joxer passed away yesterday. It wasn't a surprise, he was old and ill for a very long time. As hard as it is for us to say goodbye, I believe it was a relief for him, and I take comfort in knowing that the hardest things for us freed him from his pain. When it became clear he wouldn't be coming home from the vet, I needed to have a task and I wanted to remove most of his things before my son got home from VBS, knowing that I couldn't do it with him around. So I boxed up his treats and most of his toys (I kept his favorite), his unopened food, brush, flea medication, and posted an ad on FreeCycle, simply saying that our dog had died and that this box of his stuff was available. And to my surprise, within hours I had tons of responses, but not of people asking for the box, mostly of people saying they didn't need/want the supplies, but just to offer condolences. Even most of the people who responded that they would pick it up said that they were so sorry for our loss and they would come as quickly as possible, to avoid us having to see the box sitting around. The woman who did pick it up had just gotten a dog from the pound and needed supplies, which I felt really good about - a rescued dog getting a huge box of treats - who deserves it more? And when she and her daughter came, they asked about Joxer and were so sweet and compassionate. It doesn't mean we don't grieve for Joxer, but some healing comes from the surprising acts of kindness that we saw. Thank you, Pittsburgh FreeCyclers, for showing a light in our darkness.

Jami Can't Even Come Up With A Good Title for This

Just . .. no. No. Stop it, people. http://www.kbtx.com/home/headlines/50898657.html

Jami, Defined

I had a pretty awesome dream last night, and since I just did a post about dreams, I won't bore you with it, although at some point it might actually make a good short story. Or graphic novel, if I could draw, which I can't. The long and short of it was that I was a supervillian. A really, truly awesome supervillian, too, not that anyone who knows me would be surprised by the super or the villian part of that. Anyway, at the pinnacle of the dream, as my very cool plan fell into place, I asked the elite cadre of superheroes opposing me: "This challenge forces you to ask yourself, and tell the world- what defines you?" And I woke up thinking about that question. What defines you? PaperbackWriter used to have a little blurb on her blog listing the many titles she can claim, for lack of a better term. As in, daughter, wife, cousin, friend, writer, etc. That is one way we define ourselves. Most important in my life are my roles as wife and mother, but that isn't the extent of me. On some levels, our actions define us, as do our choices. We are what we do. But is that it? I've heard it said that we we do and think behind closed doors is who we truly are, but I'm not sure I totally agree with that. If Gandhi went home at night and kicked his dog, does that make what he did of less value? My thoughts, the most private parts of my souls that no human sees or knows - can that be the very essence of me? Or is that just an aspect of the whole - isn't what I show outwardly also part of the definition of Jami? Superheros choose a name. Most of the names are fairly clear and shed no light on the person in the mask. Spiderman - he's a man who has the power of a spider. But what about Ozymandias from the Watchmen (which I watched last night, very good, btw)? Knowing the poem and a tiny bit of the history, I wondered at a man who would choose such a name for his alter-ego. It's a hint, IMO, about what lies beneath. What about Superman - who would allow himself to be called that if he didn't believe that he is superior to men? He didn't come up with it himself, but he didn't offer a more catchy alternative, did he? If you were to name yourself, would you pick a name with a meaning more important to you? My name means successor, supplanter or usurper, depending on which translation you look at. I have always liked "successor" with its promise of something important waiting for me. The other two have a more negative connotation. But would I pick something else? Something I long for, like Serenity or Sage (meaning wisdom)? Something I think I am, like Cara (friend) or Drusilla (strength)? Or would you decide that a single name can never define all that we are. So, my dear heroes, now is the time to tell the world - what defines you?

Jami: Horror Victim and Dr. Phil

I do occasionally blog about my more interesting dreams, if for no other reason than some of them really stick with me all day. Last night I had two such dreams, very different. I won't bog you down with all the details, nothing is more boring than an in-depth review of someone else's dream, but a few interesting points. In the first dream, I was basically a high school or college age me, at a camp which was being plagued by suspicious deaths. There came a time when a counselor (who, I am going to posit may have been the killer) attempted to turn the other girls against me by suggesting that my disagreement with a now-deceased camper is what led that girl to make a bad choice that ultimately led to her death. In defending myself against such a ridiculous charge, I made what probably would have turned out to be my fatal mistake. I examined the circumstances of her death and announced to the group that while it appeared on the surface to be an accident, certain evidence (which I explained in great Sherlock-like detail) proved it to be murder. I even went so far as to say that any person who had a certain item (too complicated to explain here) should be held in suspicion and at that point I woke up. And thought, Well that was stupid. If I wanted the killer to come after me next, I sure gave him good reason. Even in my dreams, I need to remember to just shut up sometimes. The second dream found me playing a very Dr. Phil like character - but, you know with hair. I had chosen 8 families who were over-scheduled and I helped them simplify. I rearranged their budgets, showing why both parents didn't have to be working full time and more to make ends meet, pulled poor exhausted grade-schoolers out of their myriads of lessons, teams, and what have you, showed teenagers how to balance part-time jobs with school and still have a life. I took some semi-sadistic glee in pointing out to the family members that while they were all blaming each other, they all had a part in the problem. At the end, each of the families went on a relaxed-paced, not overbooked, not too expensive, family-centered vacation. The audience cheered them (and me, of course). I was a hero. To sum up: In both dreams, I was right, smarter than the others involved. In the first one, I was potential chain-saw bait, in the second - a family saver. Not sure what that all means, but I sure preferred the second to the first.

Jami Thought She Felt Squished

And here's the proof (the second one): http://www.umm.edu/pregnancy/000088.htm All I have to say to that is "AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" and it's only getting worse. Did you see the 40 weeks?? The organs are like GONE. I need some of those, I'm pretty sure. To live! This is one of the most inefficient and uncomfortable processes I've ever been part of and I've worked with government agencies!!

Jami Just Had to Share This

Be sure you check out the zipper pull. Made me laugh. Have a great week. Very wrong sleeping bag

Jami as a Doctor

One field I never seriously considered for a career is medicine. I'm not very good with sick people, various bodily fluids or germs. However, yesterday I had an appointment during which I had a revelation - if I had wanted to be a doctor, this is the way I would have gone - Eye Doctor!! Think about it - my eye doctor spends most of the day doing that "which is better? 1 or 2? 3 or 4?" He probably doesn't have people run in screaming with blood or gore oozing out of various body parts. I can't imagine that he gets emergency calls at 2am. Sure, he might see someone with some excessive eye-goo, but that can't be the norm. He doesn't have to give people shots, at least not part of his usual practice. He doesn't have to put his hands in your mouth, on your feet, or in any other unpleasant area of your body. I am sure sometimes he has to give out bad news, but I'm guessing that it's extremely rare that he has to tell someone they're dying. This is a good gig. Interestingly, the last two eye doctors I've had have been left-handed. Don't know what that means, just noting it. During the standard questions portion of my exam (are you having trouble with your contacts? Increased headaches? Any blurriness, etc.) the doctor asked "Have you been seeing flashing lights, especially out of the sides of your vision, when there aren't flashing lights?" Now, I know that people don't always bring everything to the attention of their doctors, and I'm one of those people who doesn't run to make an appointment any time I sneeze, but in general, I'd have to say that if I were seeing flashing lights when there aren't any, I doubt I'd just wait until my next appointment and then not even mention it until asked. Just saying.

Jami Compares Clarks

Last night we caught an episode of the new Justice League. I am fairly sure it was a repeat, but I hadn't seen it. Let me just pause here to say that 1. Yes, I'm a considerably big geek but 2. Not necessarily a comic book geek. I know plenty of the background thanks to many years of marriage to the Husband, but overall, I haven't read the "graphic novels" themselves. But I digress. So, watching the new JLA, there is a scene where Superman goes to the Daily Planet as Clark Kent (of course), and his appearance really struck me. No way is that Superman (we'll call him the animated one) going to get away with the CK disguise. Look at him! I couldn't find a full body Clark shot, but: even in this picture, you can see how cut he is, totally built up top, but with the slender legs favored by so many male superheroes. While you can get away with saying that Clark is a farm boy who likes to stay in shape, no one is going to believe this hulking mass is an innocent bumbling reporter. Not gonna happen. Plus, with that distinctive jaw, you're going to say "Hmm, you sorta look like Superman, doncha?" Yes. This lead me to ponder the Superman/Clark combos over the years, and I've come up with my personal picks on the matter. So here goes. Best Superman - Dean Cain, in my opinion, besides being the absolute hottest, was the best Superman. He was smart, funny, looked heroic, and maintained the boyish charm while saving the world. Of all the Supermans (Supermen?), I think he most embodies the ideal. Best Clark - Easily, in my opinion, Christopher Reeves. Bumbling, in his sly way, tremor in the voice for being shy or scared, earnest and not built like a superhero, he was the one most believable as the smalltown fish out of water at the big city paper. Best Combo - Christopher Reeves. His transformation in voice, body and facial appearance is the most believably different. His Clark, as mentioned above is the easiest to dismiss and his Superman was brave, strong, kind and in good shape, as you'd expect from someone who doesn't have to exercise. Worst Superman - George Reeves. The man had a pot belly. Come on! Sure, Superman doesn't have to work out but he shouldn't look like he'd get winded running down a flight of stairs. Worst Clark - I'm going to have to give it to animated JLA Superman. As mentioned, he doesn't look very different and it's a cartoon - they could have drawn him however they wanted. Instead, he looks like Superman put a suit on to go to a nice dinner. Worst Combo - George Reeves. Not only is Superman pudgy, but Clark is too old to still be a lost smalltown boy. I didn't include the Superman from Smallville in this as I haven't watched it. When it originally came out and was apparent that it was going to take so many liberties with the Superman lore, the Husband became so upset over the whole thing I was afraid to turn it on in our home. I hear it's great, but not really "Superman" in the sense that it follows any particular comics or history. More like a really good different comic with characters all the same name. (come on, really? I mean, Lois in Smallville? Lex at the same high school and the same age? even I know how wrong that is!) I also left out the original Superfriends Superman, as I don't recall him ever being Clark. I did consider Brandon Routh in Superman Returns. I felt he really fell in the middle in all categories, though overall he did a fine turn as the Man of Steel. I did only watch it once in its entirety, but I didn't love it, so that may have hurt his chances. Now, it's your turn - agree, disagree, rave on about the excellence of Smallville's Clark or whoever. And what about Lois??

Jami Explains "Memorial"

I have to admit, I didn't watch the Michael Jackson memorial. The honest-to-goodness truth is that I'd grown fairly disgusted with it long before it even started. I have to admit, I haven't really been a fan of the man since the 80's, but I think had I actually been really into him and his music, this would have turned my stomach all the more. When I saw them talking about dress rehearsals and all the celebrities who wanted to perform, that's when I started to think this would be less funeral and more concert. Maybe those who watched it can correct me, and I hope so. I actually read a couple reviews which seemed to indicate that mostly only people who actually knew him sang or spoke, and I hope that's the case. At a memorial service, any music should be something that was meaningful to the person, and hopefully sung by someone who is paying their respects to a loved one, not trying to get their face on international TV. If you admired Michael, but weren't actually acquainted with him, and want to pay tribute to him, you do that on your own time. Funerals are for family and friends to say goodbye. To say anything they need to say and move to the next part of the grieving process. I read about Paris, Michael's 11-year-old, speaking very briefly and I thought "She gets it." All these thousands of people who wanted to get into the Staples Center, the person I saw on CNN saying "I have the hottest ticket in town", the one who said "This is a once-in-a-lifetime event" and the several reporters who talked about the excitement and anticipation in the air - you didn't get it. That little girl and her brothers are saying goodbye to their dad. That's what it's about. Not about who is there and what they are wearing or singing. Not about how many people are trying to get in, or have traveled from X just hoping to get close to the event. Not even about the gold coffin. It's about the grieving loved ones, and their final farewell. Massive kudos to Elizabeth Taylor, someone who I believe actually knew and loved Michael, not just his fame. In a super-classy move, she explained that her friendship and goodbye would be private and just between her and Michael, as it had been in life. As the Husband pointed out, Taylor comes from an era where celebrities actually tried to maintain some dignity and class, and even though her life has not been without scandal, Taylor's decision to eschew this public spectacle elevates her, at least in my opinion.

Jami Suggests You Really Read This

Have you actually read this? The emphases are mine. When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. (click here to read the middle of the document, mostly the list of abuses of power by King George III) We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor. I can't imagine what's left to add, except that I hope you enjoyed the day and remembered why we had fireworks and picnics. Check out EDW's post here, too.

Jami Holds Back No More

I am guessing this post might ruffle some feathers, but I guess maybe it's time I did. Because I am a person of strongly held convictions, a moral, compassionate, intelligent woman, mother, wife and professional, who doesn't take what anyone just hands out as truth, but looks into important matters more deeply, looks for confirmation and asks, "Which of these stories makes sense?" And maybe the hormones are rampaging today, but I've reached the breaking point of trying to hold in my opinion so as not to offend anyone or start battles or whatnot. I usually keep politics and the like out of my blog because I want it to be a fun and interesting read, and often there is nothing more boring than someone else's political take. But today, I'm going in . .. I respect your beliefs and your right to hold them and I wish you'd start doing the same. Yes, I'm a conservative, but if you think I'm heartless or greedy or mean, than you are more of a bigot than you accuse me of being because I'm not any of those things and neither are most of the conservatives I know. I don't jump to conclusions if you say you're a liberal, because I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you looked into the issue, too and just have a different take. Capitalism isn't evil. It's fair. If you don't like something, don't buy it. If you earn something, you get to have it. If you don't like the way a company operates, you can ask yourself, "is my belief worth the money or inconvenience of going somewhere else or doing without?" Yes, there should be very basic controls on companies, but you know what caused all the crap going on now? Government sticking too many fingers in the pie and then crying "Look! Free markets don't work." It's bull. I am against abortion, because I am FOR women and for choice. You have the choice to not have sex if you don't want a kid. You have the choice to use birth control, if you do have sex. You have the choice to parent or place your child with a loving family. Half of those children being aborted are future women, so I don't think we should kill them. Or the future men for that point. Don't give me the "rape/incest" thing because the last thing I read was something like less than 1% of abortions performed in the US were in the case of rape or incest. You don't know when life begins? Neither do I, so why err on the side of murder? Killing unborn children cheapens all life. If I can abort at 12 weeks, why not 20 weeks? If I can have a partial-birth abortion, ending the life when the baby is partially out, why not 10 minutes after he's born? Why not a day later? A life is unspeakably precious, to terminate it for convenience should be appalling to us all. I am for more freedom for everyone, and that means the freedom to fail, the freedom to be a big jerk if you want, the freedom to live where you want and spend your money how you want. I am against illegal immigration, and pardons for illegal aliens. I'm 100% for immigration. I have friends from all over the world, some who have become citizens, and I wish it had been easier for them. But that doesn't mean that just because you managed to beat the system to get or stay here you get a pass, because it's hard to do it the right way. It's hard for me to earn more money, so I should be allowed to steal from my neighbors? There is a reason for immigration law and believe me, I know firsthand how long and tedious the process can be. I was finger-printed three separate times by three agencies to get my son into the country, but that doesn't mean that I think everyone else should bypass it. I'm sure that many of the illegal aliens are very nice people. But they are still breaking the law and they chose to do so. I have lots more things I'm for and against, and I'm not going to bore you with the entire list. But before you write me off as an evil conservative b*tch, have you *really* considered the other side? Look at statistics, think about it, talk to someone who thinks differently than you and honestly consider their points instead of thinking what you're going to say next. Remember that there is NO SUCH THING as an unbiased report - this is one of the first lessons we learned in broadcasting and no matter what you think, it's the truth. And most of all - if you're still reading, thanks, and if after you've thought and prayed, considered and learned, discussed and debated, you still don't agree with me, I still like you. I still respect you. I hope you'll do the same.

Jami Can't Be the Only One Mad About This

Have you seen this SafeLink? I've been seeing their commercials for a few months and I had to watch them several times to be sure I heard right. You get a FREE cell phone and monthly minutes. Free for the person receiving it, of course. The idea, according to the commercial, is that lower income people will have a cell phone in case of emergency. Okay, I'm on board with that. I am all about the safety. But if I'm paying for you to have a cell phone that you can use in an emergency, that phone should have one and only one big button on it, a button that says 911. That's it. No calling your family, friends or pizza guy. Because we know who is paying for those minutes - me. A "federally funded program" means that along with all the other crap my taxes are going toward, now I'm paying for other people's chitchat, too. Nice. According to the website, if you're already getting some types of assistance, you probably qualify for the phone. So, now, I'm paying for your rent, your food, your medical and your phone? A cell phone isn't a necessity. It's not like shoes for your kids or milk for your baby. If you can't afford a cell phone, you don't get a cellphone. Okay? If you're elderly and your kids want to be able to talk to you once a day, they can add you to their plan for $10 a month. If they can't afford that, then you all should move in together and pool your resources. If you all still can't afford a phone all together, then you get the one big red button phone for emergencies. I know times are tough, but that means they are tough for everyone. I struggle to pay my bills, and now even more of my money is going to pay for other people's bills. For things they don't need. Maybe the Husband should quit his job so we can start getting some of these sweet deals.