Jami on Display

Before we had Eddie, I really never gave much consideration to what the neighbors thought about us. Mostly, because I had no reason to. If I had to guess at that time, I'd say the neighbors would describe us as a nice, friendly professional couple. We had the very occasional party, not too loud, no drunks staggering up the street after; we kept our lawn mowed and leaves raked and we chatted with the neighbors when we were out and about. Nothing particularly unusual. But, as I mentioned, I don't think I ever even gave it a moment's thought. Now, though, I often wonder what they must think about what goes on in this house. For example, Let's say Eddie and I are playing cars in the living room and I need to go to the restroom. I will tell him that I need to "go potty" and I'll be right back. Then I go upstairs and pretty much inevitably, as soon as I am "settled", shall we say, he will start screaming "MOMMY!!! MOMMY!" Usually followed by either "where are you?" or "what are you doing?" In either case, I usually start with "I'm upstairs, I'll be right down." He never needs anything. He's never injured. He just keeps yelling and asking questions until I am forced to scream "I'M GOING POTTY!!!" Which is great during open window season. I can just picture the neighbors exchanging glances, "oh good, Jami is going potty now. I was wondering." There was the time during my first trimester of this pregnancy when I was outside by the garbage vomiting so forcefully that it caused me to wet my pants, which surprised me so much I stopped vomiting long enough to look down at myself and verify that yes, I had wet. Then, of course, back to the vomiting. I can only assume the neighbors were worried that I had started drinking too early in the day (this was before I was showing and telling). I know the neighbors hear it when Eddie pitches a fit or when I can't take it anymore and scream "STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!!!" I worry that they hear the very odd things one says to a toddler "No, we don't put that in our nose", "Who peed in these pants?" "STOP licking the dog, I'm not going to tell you that again!!!" My only consoling factor is that all the neighbors also have kids, grown or little. The moms at least, have probably been the one announcing to the world that they are on the toilet or threatening tiny lives. Maybe the ones whose children are raving teens smile nostalgically remembering the days when the worst trouble their offspring got into was licking the dog. I like to think so.