Special People

Here's part three: possibly, probably, the last in my series on the pessimism-building nature of my time at McDonald's. On a side note, the management there always treated me exceptionally well, better than the management at several of my "real" jobs later in life. Quite a shocker, really, to learn that the respect you got as a high school grill jockey is more than a trained and qualified person in a competitive career. Oh, if you're new, please read parts one and two. Or don't. Won't really matter. This installment in one story, probably a long one, but actually one that truly changed my outlook on humanity. In complete honesty, I remember, when all this concluded, thinking "All people are jerks, I guess." So, grab a fresh soda or cuppa because here's: THE BIGGEST JERK AT MCDONALD'S a discussion of the worst customer moment I experienced Our story begins with another manager, a very hard-working, no nonsense guy named Mark. One spring, Mark decides that it would be a nice idea to have a Pancake Breakfast special. For one morning, you could order the hotcakes (or hotcakes and sausage) and for the regular price you could keep coming back, as many times as you wished, for more hotcakes. A really good deal. Mark scheduled it for Good Friday, on the premise that the local schools all had off, so parents could bring their kids as a special treat on their day off. Sounds nice, right? We put up posters and signs all over the store a couple of weeks ahead of time. We had a regular customer, whose name currently escapes me, so we'll call her Helen. A nurse, she worked the overnight shift and came in several mornings a week on her way home. Each time she got an Egg McMuffin, without the ham. When a new employee once told her that she could have sausage or bacon instead, she politely informed him that she kept Kosher (which I later explained to him meant that she is Jewish and follows specific eating rules). On a side note, one Jewish friend once told me that if Helen actually kept Kosher, she should not have had the cheese on the egg, but others have told me that's not necessarily true, and I'm not here to debate Talmudic law. On the morning of the Pancake Breakfast, things were really hopping. For a weekday morning, even a holiday, things were busy. Helen came in, waited patiently in line, and then asked to speak to Mark. I was in the drive thru (explaining to people that the all-you-can-eat is for in the store only, and no, you can't have 18 pancakes for the price of one order) so I missed the very beginning of this, but heard the same story from several employees who didn't. The dialogue is recreated to the best of my memory, and while it might not be exactly accurate, the gist is. Mark: Hi Helen, what's up? Helen: I'm shocked that you'd do this Mark! Just shocked! Mark: What? I'm sorry, what's wrong?? Helen: This is anti-Semitic! Why would you do this? Mark: I, uh, what? Helen: How could you have a Pancake Breakfast today? Mark: I, well, the schools are out, and um, I don't know what you mean? Helen: It's PASSOVER! Mark: Yes? Helen: Everyone knows that Jews can't have pancakes during Passover!(Here's where I started paying attention, I didn't know that, and honestly, this is another one of those different answers from different sources.) Mark: Oh my God! I didn't know! (He really looked stricken) I swear, I had no idea. Helen: And in this heavily-Jewish area (it's not), with all your Jewish customers, you choose to have this deal when they can't take advantage of it. Mark: I wish I'd known, I'd have had it another day. I'm so sorry, really. I'm going to write you a coupon that you can come in whenever you want, any day and get this deal, okay? Helen: No, no that's not okay. I didn't know you were anti-Semitic! I mean, this big celebration of a Christian holiday and the Jews can't participate. That's really sickening, Mark. It's so mean and prejudiced! (I'm going to break in here to say that there were NO decorations of any kind in the store, certainly no crosses, Easter bunnies, any sort of religious anything. Also, the signs advertising this had been up, as mentioned, for weeks - on all the doors, as well as all around the store. There is no way that Helen could have missed them, unless she closed her eyes from the time she pulled her car into the parking lot until she left. I am also fairly sure, but not 100% that the signs didn't even say "Good Friday" just simply "Friday, April 5". Mark, far from being prejudiced, was one of the most fair-minded people I'd worked with - even though he had a hot temper. And now, back to our story. Also, one person pointed out that if Helen couldn't have the pancakes, she couldn't have the muffin, either, so why had she come in?) Mark: Helen, seriously, I had no idea. It's not for Good Friday, it's just the day we happened to pick. I really am sorry. Please let me give you the coupon and you can come back some other time for this. Helen: No. I want all I can eat eggs today. Mark: I can't do that. Eggs are too expensive and I can't afford to do that for everyone, if anyone else were to complain. Helen: See, I knew it's because you hate Jews. Mark: What? No, look the pancake batter is cheap, the eggs are expensive. Helen: Are you making fun of Jews now? Mark: No! I just can't afford to give you all you can eat eggs, it's too expensive for the store. But here, I'll give you the coupon like I said, plus, you can have an order of eggs free today. Just for you, because I know you. Helen: Unacceptable! The special is all you can eat! I want all I can eat, but it has to be eggs because I can't have the pancakes! You are doing this to persecute Jews! (honestly, that line, I remember because it was so outrageous.) Mark: Helen, I just can't do that. Here, I'll give you two coupons for all you can eat pancakes, and then you can bring a friend. Helen: FORGET THE DAMN PANCAKES! I don't like pancakes! Have I ever ordered pancakes? I want eggs! Yes, that's right. She didn't care about the so-called religious persecution, she just wanted free eggs, because she doesn't like pancakes. Now, at this point, she stormed out, yelling everyone's favorite exit line "I'm NEVER coming here again", which is almost always untrue. On my honor, the above is a fair representation of the entire transaction. Hours later, we got several phone calls from corporate offices: our district, region, even national offices- Helen had called them all, and told them how we were discriminating against Jews, and that we had ALL called her various ethnic slurs, but that Mark had been the ring leader, who started it and allowed us to taunt this poor innocent regular customer. It was so serious that a representative came to the store and interviewed us all separately, and a notation was made in Mark's file. That, dear friends, made a permanent mark on me as well. I felt myself change the day I heard how far this had gone. Helen did come back in, a few times, but found the service to be curt and unfriendly. As far as I know, no one ever spit in her food, or short-changed her or even said anything mean to her, but none of us even wanted to look at her. I never looked at people the same way again. It was April 5, 1996 - important enought to me that I still remember the date, a day that lives in my own personal infamy