On a Day Like Today

It's cold and it's rainy/snowy and the Husband has the car. It's the kind of day that even though I rarely let Eddie eat in front of the TV, I'd consider letting both of us eat all three meals zombied-out in front of my old friend Mindless Box. In the pre-Eddie days, this would be a day that our lights would never come on. I'd make a big pot of tea and I'd have nachos for lunch. The TV would go on and when I got bored with TV, I'd turn it off and read by the just-enough ambient light from the windows. I'd probably work up enough energy to run a nice hot bubble bath and take my book there, maybe even take a Mike's Hard Lime with me and it would be one of those baths that you have to drain part of the water and add more hot because you've been in so long. I certainly wouldn't have spent any time dancing to a toy guitar or changing my socks three times (we are currently obsessed with socks, and trains). I wouldn't have sung the Itsy-Bitsy Spider with a Spider-Man who inexplicably has a little kid's voice. I wouldn't have read a four-word book six times. Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I am more blessed than anyone has the right to be or even to hope to be. We are happy and healthy and our family is so full of love you couldn't even make a sit-com out of it, we just don't have enough problems. But some days, days like today when the lights are too bright and the outside too yucky, some days I miss being able to "go to ground" as my instinct tells me. I miss holing up in my the comforter I keep on the couch for just that reason and watch Law and Order episodes with plots that may be inappropriate for younger viewers. That is quintessential "Me", and it's one of the few things I miss.