Big Macs for Nothin' and Fries for Free

Welcome to the second part in my series on how working at McDonald's obliterated my faith in the human race. Part one is here. Oh, and let me clarify that I don't think this phenomenon is unique to the golden arches, that just happened to be the soul-killer at which I was employed. I'm going to assume any dealing-with-the-general-public position would've done the job equally well. I hadn't been working at Mickey D's all that long when it began to irk me how many people wanted or tried to scheme for freebies or discounts, and in some cases, just outright stole. The most common thievery I saw, and yes, it is stealing, took place at the coffee refill station. Two little hot plates with coffee pots, a small bin to hold cream (and ice to chill it), one small bin with sugar packets and one more with artificial sweeteners. Little old ladies were the ones to watch here; they'd buy their senior-priced coffee (27 cents at the time) drink it, and return to the refill station when they thought no one was watching. Then they'd dump the bin of artificial sweeteners into their purses and scurry off. Some would watch until we restocked it and try for a second batch. One woman had the gall to tell me "You're out of the blue packets here!" and tapped the counter, waiting for me to bring her more. I'm not a condiment package Nazi here, and if you take 4 and it turns out you only need three, that's fine. Keep the extra, use it some other time. But, taking handfuls, that really does cost the restaurant money and we all pay for that. It's stealing, just stop it. Any time we had a special going, people would try to twist the special and get more, or something else. For example, we used to have a special, about twice a year, that you got 2 Big Macs for $2. Got it? TWO Big Mac sandwiches, and you pay $2. Inevitably, this deal was not good enough for some of the customers. "I don't like the Big Macs, can I have the chicken sandwiches 2 for $2?" No. "I just want ONE Big Mac, so that's a dollar, right? No?? But I don't want two! I want one and that's not fair!" "I want the Big Mac meal and then a second Big Mac, with the discount. But I am getting two, I'm getting one in the meal and then the other one!" I dreaded these sales so much for just this reason. I spent half my time dealing with customers angry because we'd refused to customize the deal. Last, for this topic, were the fakers who created a reason to get free food. The worst example that I witnessed - a well-dressed, professional-looking woman came in and ordered a chicken sandwich meal, very politely, sat down and ate her food. She came up to me at the counter about a half hour later, a single bite's worth of her sandwich left. Customer: Look at this! My sandwich has a HUGE hair in it!! Me: looking from the long blond hair in her sandwich to her long blond hair Oh, uh, are you sure it, uh, came that way? Customer: Of course it did! Get your manager RIGHT NOW! This is disgusting; I should call the health department! Me: sigh One moment. I went to get Janet, the manager who was 12 hours into a double-shift and in no mood for this sort of crap. She took a look around the grill and then went to the counter Janet: Hi, I'm the manager, what can I do for you? Customer: Look at this hair in my sandwich! It's disgusting! I want my money back. Janet: What if I give you a coupon for a free sandwich next time you come back? Customer: No, I want my money back. I could have bitten into this! Look at it! Janet: Fine, fine, here you go . ..One dollar and ... Customer: I paid like five-something! Janet: I'm only refunding you for the sandwich, you ate the fries and had a drink. Customer: And now I feel sick because look at this hair in my food, I might throw up, you have to give me all my money back or I'm calling the health department. Janet: (has had enough) Okay, look, that is a long blond hair. No one here has a long blond hair but you. Jami and I are the only women working today (I had short red curls, Janet SUPER-short brown hair), so I'm pretty sure it's not from our employees. YOU, however have long blond hair. Customer: Men could have long hair. Or someone from this morning. You'd better give me my money. If I get sick, I'm calling my lawyer. Janet: And seeing as it is so "huge" and "disgusting" how could you have missed it the entire time you were eating until just the very last bite, which just happens to be the bite with the hair? I offered you a free sandwich AND I offered you a refund on your sandwich for a hair we all know you put in there. If you want to call the health department, your lawyer and the president, you go ahead. I'll be glad to tell whoever you called how you are so cheap you can't even pay for one (expletive deleted) chicken sandwich and instead had to pull out your own bleached blond hair and lie to a teenager about it. Customer: I'm never coming back here again! Janet: Thank God! Tell your friends! I always loved Janet.