Jami Donates Some Advice

I won't try to take credit for being the world's most generous person. I give when I can, and to things that I care about or believe in. I donate when there are various drives, like when the mail carriers are collecting canned goods or whatever. I give clothes and various household things to the VVA and I freecycle, which is sort of like donating, but not tax deductible. Anyway, I make this point because one thing that really shreds my cheese is what I call Fake Donating. Fake Donating is giving something that is unusable. I don't know if people do it to look good or convince themselves that they've done good but it's just wrong. Every year my MOPS group has a giant flea market. People donate stuff and we sell it. We usually get tons of donations, for which we are immensely grateful. But the Fake Donations make me crazy. Last year during sorting, I saw a toy truck with no wheels. Look, that's garbage. Even people on a limited income aren't going to buy their kid a plastic truck with no wheels. Stuff that's missing parts, clothes that are seriously stained or torn, broken items - that's really and truly junk, not junk sale junque. So, instead of being a useful donation, it's one more thing that we had to sort and then throw away for you. It's anti-helpful. The Husband's business had a food drive for Thanksgiving. They asked customers to donate Thanksgiving type non-perishables, that would be given to a local ministry where people know they can come and get complete fixings for their holiday meal. Now, I know that we all give the food we don't like to food banks, and honestly, I don't have a problem with that. I hate green beans and I'll gladly donate a few cans. Other people like green beans. They enjoy eating them. Green beans are food. But, for this particular drive people donated several bags of expired foods. That's wrong. They might still be okay to eat, and yes, beggars can't be choosers, but that means they don't get to choose the brands or whatever, not that they get to choose whether or not to try something that might give them severe abdominal pain, okay? I won't even mention that some of the things donated were not really Thanksgiving-y, because hey - if you need food, you need food and just because peanut butter isn't a traditional Thanksgiving treat, it's probably more useful to the family than a box of stuffing mix, but jelly that expired 3 months ago - FAIL. You're not being generous - you're offloading stuff you should have used or thrown away. If you think it's probably still okay to eat, buy a new one for donating and eat the expired one yourself. When I taught Sunday School, my classroom was a constant receptacle for large unwanted crap. Broken TVs, odd lamps, clocks with no batteries - why do you think the church in general or youth groups in specific want these? Boxes of old magazines are great for crafts... if they are asked for. But piles of your subscriptions for the last 10 years are not helpful. So please, donate. Donate what you can to the causes you think deserve it. Give a can of green beans to someone other than me. But don't just rain your trash on charities; use a little discrimination. Fake Donating is really taking from those charities, because they waste time, energy and even money on getting rid of your "donations". Thank you.

Jami's Guide to Courtroom Fashion

After watching several recent episodes of Judge Judy and the People's Court, just let me suggest a few fashion tips for if you need to go to court. For the ladies: 1. Leggings and thigh-high boots might seem okay since you get to stand behind the podium most of the time, but they're not. 2. Micro mini-skirts don't make you look like a respectable person. Also if you are older than 20 or heavier than a size 20, you shouldn't wear them outside your own house; wear them in court and it basically is lying by clothing. 3. If you're trying to explain how poor you are, wear earrings smaller than your head and try to keep the jewelry, fake or not, to less than Little Richard would find garish. For the gentlemen: 1. Just because it's clean doesn't mean a T shirt is okay for court. It should also not have tears, holes, old stains, naked ladies, cuss words or frayed strings on it. A button-down shirt may be hard to locate, but give it a shot for court. 2. Ties are optional, but wear them with a collared shirt if you are going to wear them. 3. Don't wear shorts. Come on. This should be a gimme. 4. Sandals on guys are never for indoors. And rarely look good outdoors, either. For everyone: 1. Unless the case involves injuries to these parts, the following body parts should not be on display in court: Shoulders, belly buttons, small of the back (even if you have a really rad tramp stamp), anything a bathing suit should cover, arm pits and the middle of your chest. 2. Don't wear anything you cut the sleeves or legs off of yourself. 3. You think wearing sunglasses in court makes you look cool, but you are mistaken. 4. If you are wearing something with feathers, it's probably wrong. Special shout-out to the guy who was workin' the pinstriped tux on the People's Court. Totally fly, but dude, even though it's televised, it's still small claims court, not the prom.