Jami Hears a Few Funny Things

Regular reader and all-around awesome woman Aerie informed me that I've been slacking lately and since I live to make Aerie's life better (as do we all), I wanted to be sure to post today. So here's a few quick things that made me chuckle... At a drug store where I worked yesterday, a couple was examining diet aids. The husband didn't evince much interest while his wife compared, until he checked out the cost. "Look at the price!" He said. She ignored him. "Couldn't you just exercise??" I started to chuckle as she glared at him. He started to whistle what I later recognized as the theme to Rocky. She was not amused. For any guys who see nothing wrong with this, I would suggest trying "Baby, you don't need to lose weight, you look just fine" That way you save the money and get good hubby points. At the Super Bowl Party I attended last night, Aerie's cousin (who we'll just call AC) wore an attractive black sweater-dress, tights and boots. She told us that as she and her husband (we'll call him "John" were leaving for the party, he exclaimed "Aren't you going to put on some pants?" We all had a good chuckle, but let's look at this from John's point of view. Imagine the trouble he'd been in if AC had arrived at the party without pants, and not meaning too. Then he'd really have been in trouble. He said "It looks like a shirt, I didn't know." He's got a point. Sure, she had tights and boots on, but what if she had somehow forgotten her pants? Wouldn't she have been grateful that he noticed? Poor guy, that really was a no-win situation for him. I mentioned before that when I'm working, people approach me to ask questions about the store's sales or stock or whatever, and I explain that "I don't work for this store" and that I'm sorry I can't help them. But recently, people have been trying to argue with me about it. Look, if I lied to you and I do work for this store, do you really think I'm going to go "Oh, you caught me, I DO know!" If I'm a such a crappy employee that I already lied to you, why would I help you if you keep bothering me? Maybe I'm some lunatic who has a scanner and a UPC fetish or a competitor sneaking in to gather info on this store. The last one was: Woman: Do you work here? Are these (pointing at a picture in an ad) still on sale? Me: I'm sorry, I don't work for (name of store), so I don't know. Woman: You don't? Me: No, sorry. Woman: But you have that price gun thing. Me: Yes, I do inventory for a market research company. It doesn't tell me prices. Woman: But you were here before. I just need to know if these are still on sale. Me: I'm sorry, but I don't know. Maybe you could ask at the front counter. Woman: (annoyed at my rudeness) Can't you just scan it and tell me? Me: No, it doesn't tell me prices, it just takes inventory. Woman: Well, it looks like you work here. She storms off. Now, seriously, did she really think at some point I'd just go "Ooops, wait a minute, I DO work here. I totally forgot. Silly me"? Maybe I'm wrong, but I'd like to think that if I asked someone, even if he/she was wearing a sign that said "I work here, ask me!" that when he/she said "I don't know", I'd believe it. But that's just me. Sorry you probably already knew at least two of those stories, Aerie. I'll try to be funnier tomorrow.