Jami Practices Extreme Self-Control

For those who aren't aware, my son is adopted. He was born in Guatemala and came home at age five months. Even before we chose to adopt, I've always been very pro-adoption. To me, there is something inexplicable beautiful about a family coming together for a child who might otherwise not have one. That being said, I'm not a militant adoption-friendly language Nazi, chasing people down and informing the ignorant. I'm not touchy about it and I really don't spend much of my time or my son's time thinking about it. There are times however . . . . This morning I participated in the local library's Flea Market. It's generally the same "core" group of women who pack up their stuff and make a few bucks two Saturdays a year. I'm the youngest, and sometimes by quite a bit. At the table next to me, two of the regulars and one new woman ate their lunches and gossiped. One of the women has an adult son - he and his wife are having trouble conceiving. Woman 2, practically a "lifer" at the Flea Market, demonstrated some misunderstanding of some of the fertility treatments, and then the conversation turned to adoption. Were they going to adopt? I drifted closer, not wanting to butt in, but rather well-informed on the process. Woman 1 said they'd considered it, talked to Catholic Charities, were still trying to "have their own". Ugh. It's minor, but that's one thing that annoys adoptive parents. Woman 2 says "What do you think about all these overseas adoptions?" Woman 3 says something about there being lots of children who need parents. Woman 1 says it's too expensive (true). Woman 2 says that they've closed Russia for adopting (this is sort of true, but not really) and that's a good thing, because all those kids have medical and emotional problems and they don't tell you (partially true, but rare). Then she said that you pray so hard to have a "normal" baby, why purposely have one that isn't? Annoyed, I tried to think of a polite way to admit that I'd been eavesdropping and correct the mis-info. Before I could, she said "Really, all those adoptions from other places. I mean, it's not even the interracial thing, but why go buy a baby from some other country that's got all sorts of problems when you could get a regular one right here in Pittsburgh?" I actually felt my face getting hot, and wondered how red I looked. I walked as far away from them as I could be and still be manning my table. If you don't know, there is not much that's more offensive to most adoptive parents than saying that you "bought" your baby. And I'm not even going to get into the "regular" one. Woman 2 continued, now on a roll, "There are so many babies available because so many teenagers are having babies now and then giving them away. Of course, you know that's why there is so much infertility, too. These girls have babies, or abortions, when they're teenagers and then you can't get pregnant when you want to." So much is wrong with that I don't know where to start. And can you believe I didn't even flip her off? I am so mature.