Jami's List of Songs That Are NOT Romantic

EDW wrote this post in honor of Fathers' Day about father/child songs. In the comments, someone mentioned Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely?" which he wrote for his daughter when she was a newborn. It reminded me of the episode of Scrubs in which a couple mentions that this is "their song". It's one of those songs people don't really listen to, and just assume is a love song because they know the one line of the chorus and it's kind of slow. It might be a daddy-daughter love song, but it's not a "love song" in the traditional sense. Which brings me to my main point - there are songs which should not ever be "your song". Oh, and as a side note, when I was looking up the complete lyrics to "Isn't She Lovely?" I found a blog that I will not link to because don't want to embarrass the poor girl who wrote "This song is so romantic it brings tears to my eyes and makes me want to plan my wedding to a guy I haven't even met yet." Sigh. "Every Breath You Take" by the Police. Ah, the many, many times at high school dances when this song would be sent out from one love-struck teen to another. Problem? Yes. This is not a romantic song. It's a song about stalking. The message of this song is, "Just so you know, I'll be stalking you." The complete lyrics are here, but here's a taste: "can't you see, you belong to me?" This is not romantic. Someone who will be watching you, whatever you do forever: not romantic. And the updated one is about mourning someone who died. "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston (or the original by Dolly Parton, which I prefer). I have actually been to two weddings where the couple used this as their first dance song, and I would know they had not actually listened to it beforehand. How can you choose a song you don't even know the lyrics to?? Yes, she will always love you, but she's leaving you! Not a good wedding theme, unless you are Britney Spears's first husband. That would have been appropriate. "If I stay, I would only be in your way. So goodbye, please don't cry; we both know I'm not what you need." Sound like a good marriage starter? complete lyrics here. "Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Collins. People, I know it says something about "another day for you and me in paradise", which sounds all nice and romantic, but this song is about a homeless woman suffering on the street. Not at all something I like to slow dance to. I actually couldn't believe this song is ever played at (what should be) happy occasions like weddings, dances and clubs. Read the full set of depressing lyrics here. "Friends and Lovers" by Gloria Loring. This is an older one, maybe you don't even know it. It was big "in my day", and it's basically a song for what is euphemistically called Friends with Benefits, if you know what I mean. It's may seem like she's saying that her lover is her best friend, but really, it's more like we don't have to be boyfriend-girlfriend, we'll just make out and see how it goes. "Follow Me" by Uncle Cracker. Seriously, folks, read the lyrics. This guy is trying to convince a woman to cheat on her husband with him, and he's not planning on sticking around anyway. Nice, hunh? The chorus sounds great, it's fun to sing, but "our song"? Um. No. One woman told me that she and her husband loved this song, "until we learned it all." I'm sure I missed some, feel free to add your favorite not-a-love-song song.