Jami Offers Minor Fashion Notes for Men

Hi Guys, I'm a woman, not one of those girly-girls who knows designers' names and what-not, but your average everyday beer-drinkin', sports-watching chick. However, that does not make me totally oblivious to the physical appearance and, having discussed this with a few of my home-girls, we'd like to suggest the following items are not good: 1. Skinny Jeans. These make a fat guy look ridiculous, and a skinny guy look scrawny and somewhat feminine. So, unless you are a rock star who can pull it off (like a Jonas brother, maybe) or you want to look precious and delicate, get yourself some normal Man Jeans. 2. Shirts with armpit holes. Seriously. You might think no one will notice but what we are all thinking is "His BO must be so bad it ate through the material." I wear pants with holes in the knee all the time and I have had socks that literally fall off my feet, but let's just agree to toss shirts with holes in them either in the trash or in the "painting the house only" pile. 3. Long nails, especially if dirty. I don't get guys with long nails. It's so quick and easy to fix that one, and it's not like you don't ever see your hands. I'll admit my own toenails get a bit wild in the winter when I'm not seeing them regularly, but your hands are in front of your face all the time. Trim them. Girls hate guys with long nails and nothing is grosser than a guy with long nails that have crud under them. I have had long nails since 1986 and I clean them almost continually. A guy with short nails which are dirty says "I work hard, and possibly at something macho like car repairs". A guy with long nails says "I am lazy and maybe secretly girly" and if they are dirty, the message is " I am lazy and filthy and I don't even care." 4. Those shiny shorts popular in the 70's/80's. Unless you're playing basketball in a movie set in the time period, no. Just no. 5. Loafers with no socks to work or church. This wasn't discussed by anyone else, just a pet peeve of mine. We had a guy at my last job who did this and once he came in with no socks, I couldn't think of anything else except "Why wouldn't he wear socks to work??" 6. Flip flops. They are for girls. Don't wear them. Sandals are okay, but not with black dress socks, like your grandfather wore. I think those were the big ones. It might not hurt to keep in mind that as much of a stud as I am sure you are, most women don't want to see most of your chest, belly, back, or thighs and no woman, not even the one who loves you most, likes plumber's crack. Thank you and goodnight.