Jami Raising a Non-Wimp

Independence is one of the things I like most about being me. I have never been of the school of thought which says that children are delicate and should be coddled. Doing things yourself, and failing the first few times is part of what makes you confident, and gives you real self-esteem, not the made up "oh, everything you do is golden" BS self-esteem they push these days. Of course, once I had my baby in my arms, my head-plan warred with my heart's idea of never letting him out of my sight, and keeping him completely ensconced in bubble wrap. I persisted, though, in trying to raise a brave, strong, capable child. Interestingly, a few years ago a woman who takes in foster children told me how the toddlers who had been neglected were shockingly able to take care of themselves, far above what we expect from children their age. Three-year-olds who will go into the fridge and fix themselves a sandwich or bowl of cereal. Two-year-olds who will get themselves ready for bed, brushing their teeth, changing their diapers getting into their PJs. I don't want to neglect my kid into competence, but I also don't want to do for him something he can do himself. For the most part, I think I'm doing okay. Eddie plays outside with minimum supervision (for his age). He dresses himself, and even changes his clothes if he has an accident. There's a great website, Free Range Kids that's sort of the anti-super-overdone-safety movement. It's a good reminder that, yes, bad things do happen in this world, but killing yourself worrying over the extreme unlikely-hoods aren't great for your kids either. Parenting is a constant dance, I think. Your kids and their needs and abilities change as fast as you can get use to them. Our job is to protect them from the real and permanent type dangers while letting them stretch and grow, and yes, fall and get hurt and learn. It's darn difficult, but it's what we signed up for, whether we knew it or not.