Jami's Two Part Series of Having Friends - Part One

I'm a lot of things - wife, sister, daughter, friend, cousin, employee, etc. You know that drill. But most of my time right now is spent being a Mommy. As you know if you have a kid, it changes every facet of your life. For me, the biggest change was in my social life. Being a mommy changes your friendships. And I learned two things: 1. It's important to have Mommy-Friends 2. It's important to have not-Mommy Friends. So this is Part One: It's Important to Have Mommy Friends The first month I was a stay at home mom nearly stole my sanity. That's a story for another post. But let's just say, I loved even while losing my grip. Then came MOPS. A friend of the Husband's gave me the info for her group and after the first meeting, I couldn't wait the two weeks until the next meeting. They had what I needed - Mommy Friends (MF's) You need Mommy-Friends because you need to talk to someone else who understands that you can love your kids and not bear to be away from them for a minute and still want to lock them in a sound-proof room so you can watch a grown-up TV show and eat junk food. You need Mommy-Friends because they find your kid-stories cute, and you will listen to theirs. You know your friends without kids can only take so many "the adorable thing my kid did today" stories. Your MF's can sit around a table and share them for hours and no one is bored. You need Mommy-Friends because the topics of your conversation are going to be uninteresting to others. One of my MF's just told me about a time she and her not-mommy friends sat around a campfire chatting and she went into her camper and cried because she didn't know what to talk about anymore. None of them had an opinion on which is better - Diaper Genie or Diaper Champ. They were talking about doing things she couldn't afford, and even if she could, probably wouldn't be able to participate in anyway, with the kids. You need Mommy-Friends to convince you you're not crazy, bad or going to permanently mess up your kids. They've been there. Someone else's kid spit up on a stranger or said the cuss word you blurted out in traffic to your minister. Everyone had that moment when she wasn't as vigilant as she normally is and had a could-have-been-tragic moment. We reassure each other. We offer suggestions or a shoulder to cry on. We keep each others' secrets. We laugh and hug and cry, and then we all hug our kids and are glad we have them and each other. You need Mommy-Friends because becoming a parent is moving to a whole new world and you better make friends on your new planet. It's important to have Mommy-Friends.