Jami's Holy Backyard

After a storm, I go out into the backyard, and see:

Yup, the Virgin Mary, with some sort of scary clown face on her robes.

My first thought was how one earth someone's Mary statue ended up in my backyard and my second thought was a fear that it had blown into our yard from the cemetery up the hill and how I'd figure out whose dead relative it belonged to.

Turns out it's just a plastic shopping bag. I thought about calling the media and offering to allow people to ask it stuff for a very small fee. Or selling it to the casino that bought the holy grilled cheese. But, in the end, I just gently removed it from the weeds and respectfully added her to my recycle pile.