Not Dead Yet . . .

Here I am, three days past the expected end of our company, and I'm still at my desk, doing what ridiculously little work is left for me, while this company (new motto: "The Cockroaches of the Business World - you can't kill us") marches on in the bog of uncertainty. I'd made peace with it ending. I was all prepared for some time on unemployment, some recuperating from this mess and spending quality time with the baby. Instead, I'm here in Purgatory - the company is dying, but won't die. Our CEO, bless his optimistic (read: desperate) heart is still chasing a few butterflies he's convinced will save us all. Now he's claiming our "worst case scenario" is the end of THIS month. It's a tough situation to be in. While I do love my job and my company, it's hard to enjoy it after a year of "This is the end - nope, wait, we're good. Now, THIS is the end. .. Oops, no, not just yet." I've mourned the company, but it's not dead yet. I want it to thrive, to succeed, but we can't do that, either, just this tiring limp to one more payroll of survival. If I were to just leave, that would kill the company, and I can't do that. So I'm stuck, slogging on, afraid to hope the CEO's right, disappointed if he's not.