Kevin Smith Owes Me Breakfast

This Tuesday, Clerks II will be released on DVDs. Because the Husband watches the pre-leased movies as part of his job, we got to see it last night. We'd meant to see it in the theatres, but never made it. It was great, hilarious. I'll review it later and post a link, but it reminded me of this post, which I'd meant to write awhile go. I like Kevin Smith, but in what is considered blasphemous by the "serious" Kevin Smith fans, Clerks is not my favorite. It's probably my least favorite of the View Askew movies. At the time of this even, I'd only see it, Mallrats and Chasing Amy once each. That's only important because it's part of how I was tricked . . . I was a young, idealist morning drive DJ on a radio station no one listened to. My shift started at 6 am Monday through Saturday. The McDonalds along the way opened at 6, so even though I could smell the delicious sausage cooking, I could never partake. My breakfasts were cold bagged meals I'd packed the night before. Very sad. Then, one afternoon, driving home, I noticed work being done on the long-closed and abandoned building that had been a Burger King. Only minutes from my building, I hoped for a fast food restaurant with breakfast. Several days later, it became clear that my dreams would come true, the building quickly took the shape and appearance of family-friendly grease palace. The next day a sign went up in the window announcing a breakfast special! It clearly wasn't open yet, but yay! I excitedly told the Husband about it at dinner that night. "If it's a chain, it's ones I've never heard of. Moo-something - Mooby's!" The Husband looked at me, as though I'd told a joke. "Mooby's?" "Yes" "That's not a real restaurant. It's a set for that Kevin Smith movie." That's right. Kevin Smith filmed parts of Dogma in Pittsburgh, and had used the building for the shots of Mooby's. I was crushed!! Mooby's never opened, of course, I never got my Egg-a-Mooby Muffin Meal, and the not-open Mooby's with the enticing sign mocked me every morning on my way in. So, Kevin Smith, you owe me breakfast. You crushed my spirit and sent me on the downward spiral of cynicism that has made me the hard, cold, bitter woman I am today. Next time you're in the area, you should take me out. And to make up, I'd like a nice sit-down breakfast, possibly with mimosas. If you aren't Kevin Smith, be sure you tell anyone you know who might know him, so that I get my breakfast and can start loving life again. Oh, and Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back may be the funniest movie ever.