I Need Supervision

So far today, I have: Tried until really frustrated to slip my foot into what I thought was my shoe, but was actually part of my computer cord. Thought the microwave vaporized my lunch - I took it out, stirred it, started up the microwave, turned around to get a napkin and when I looked into the microwave, it was empty!!! No explosion, no fire, just totally gone. After about 2 seconds of shock, I realized my lunch was sitting ON TOP OF the microwave. Started a very small project for a client that needs to be done today and takes about 10 minutes tops, and somehow in the middle of it, got distracted and forgot I was doing it. Wrote a sentence that went "the system changes the status to the status in the system" which made perfect sense to me when I wrote it. Apparently opened the same document at least 5 times simultaneously. I kept closing it, and it was still there! And these are just the things I realized I did. Don't worry, I checked, I am wearing pants.