Jami's Disorderly Eating

I mentioned a few days ago that I took ill over the holidays. Fortunately brief, but bad enough for the couple days when I thought an evil elf had moved into my midsection. During some introspection while expelling the contents of my innards, I came to the conclusion that I can't have an eating disorder. Not that I necessarily want one, but I could stand to lose a few pounds. Though I knew it'd make me feel better, I couldn't get myself to throw up. (Finally, finally I did so without trying and started to feel better, but it took hours). There has only been one time in my life when I did make myself throw up and that's a long story for another time. Even knowing it would ease my pain, I couldn't upchuck on command. That lets out your standard bulimia. Also, with my ridiculously weak teeth, if I threw up regularly, they'd be gone in a month. As for the other varieties of bulimia: there's eating and purging by exercising obsessively, and that is definitely not going to happen. I can't even convince myself to exercise once a day, so for hours at a go several times each day probably isn't very likely. Then there's the bulimia where one takes handfuls of laxatives after binging. While sitting is more my speed, I don't particularly enjoy that activity, and we'll just leave it at that. I know what you're thinking, Jami, why not try out anorexia? Please, if I didn't love to eat so much, I wouldn't be in my fat pants in the first place. I loooooove food. Which leads us to compulsive eating, probably the only eating disorder I could do, and that's just going in the wrong direction altogether. When discussing this with M, who also loves eating but is in better shape than I am, she also pointed out that people who are bulimic or anorexic end up with broken, bad hair and gross skin, and she's absolutely right. Why bother getting all skinny but being ugly? Kind of misses the point, doesn't it? Same goes for heroin, which isn't an eating disorder, but also causes people to get really skinny. Sigh. No disorders for me today.