Forever Families

What's the difference between families and noses? You can pick your nose. It's an old joke I heard back in grade school, but there's a point to it. We choose our spouses (those of us in marriages not arranged by our parents) but in general, we don't get much choice as to who is in our family. Certainly no say in what parents we get or if siblings are around. So, are our families simply an accident of nature, to be tolerated or treated no differently than anyone else? Don't our families often get the worst of us? When you blow up at someone after a long day, is it more likely to be your boss or your spouse? Even those of us with the most relaxed attitude about manners probably would think twice about belching in public, but I bet you do it at home. Yes, you do. And you pass gas, too. I know it. Family means more than blood relations (I'm not related by blood to anyone in my home!), family is the group of people (or even one other person) who even when you want to choke them with your socks, you still love. Too often today I see people all too willing to dispose of family members in our no-fault divorce, instant gratification society. But being a family isn't just a random coincidence, it's a job you have to do. We're created to need others - and to need others to need us. Family is what that is for. Family is where we learn how to see the world and ourselves. It's how we decide to let others treat us and how to treat others. It's the place where we first learn we have a place, and how to be a part of something larger than ourselves. It's where we learn to love someone because they are, not for what they are. And where we are loved even when we screw up royally. Friends will come and go. Some will be "as close as family". You still chose them. Your family is a one-time gift. You "get" a family and you have the chance to create one. Both are fragile and wonderful and critical. Don't blow it.