Jami's Birthing Tips

Hi-de-ho, folks. Long time, no blog. For anyone who is unaware, I was off giving birth to my new son, Griffin, which only took 59 hours start to finish. So, with that fun behind me, I thought I'd share a few hints for anyone who might find themselves in the family way. 1. Before you leave for the hospital, make peace with the idea that everyone you encounter there, and I am including the parking lot attendants, janitors and cafeteria ladies, are going to see you not only naked, but in the most awkward and compromising positions. There is no way to give birth in a hospital without pretty much showing the world everything you've got unless you're going straight to a Cesarean section. 2. "Resting" or "sleeping" in a hospital means lying in bed, hooked up to a couple different machines and waiting for the next procedure to be done while various things beep, flash and occasionally sound meaningless alarms. 3. Nature doesn't care what you plan. I had a birth vision, my midwives knew it, it was in my file for the nurses to read. I might as well have added "I would like fairies to sprinkle us all with magic dust twice an hour" and "Please put Mike's hard lemonade in my IV" for all that we were able to stick to the plan. 4. People will do things to you that ordinarily you would report to the police, and you will thank them. Enough said. 5. Pack more than you think you'll need. I didn't pack my razor. I packed a teeny sample bottle of conditioner. I packed two shirts, 1 pair of shorts, and 1 bra. I ended up being there 5 nights. Besides having leg hair that would make a yeti proud, I had to choose between wearing hospital gowns all day or clothes I'd been wearing for a seeming eternity. 6. Nurses rock - I can't say enough about the awesome nurses I had both in Labor and Delivery and in Post Partum. They were totally on top of stuff, brought me things I didn't even know to ask for, changed the baby's diaper when I just plain didn't feel like it, and were always super-friendly, but not perky, thank goodness. I also loved the room service and the nice people that would peek in once or twice a day and ask if they could clean the bathroom and empty the trash. I would have liked to bring them all home. 7. Dermoplast is awesome, ice packs are great and don't underestimate the value of the hospital's disposable mesh panties.