Jami Vs. The Former Beauty Queen in the Convertible

I don't know if it's the heat, but there seem to be days designated as crazy/bad driver days, and somehow I never get the notices ahead of time. A few days ago was another one of those particular days, and it started when I almost got creamed by a former beauty queen. Pulling out of a parking lot, going left, I'm always super-careful. I actually HATE making lefts out of parking lots and I'm one of those people you get stuck behind when you're in a hurry and you're screaming "What are you waiting for? I could have fit a double eighteen wheeler in that opening? GO!!!!" I tell you this so that you understand that I don't just dart out. Anyway, I look both directions my normal 130 times, start to drift out, look again and make the turn - and flying around the corner comes a sleek little convertible with a deeply tanned woman driving. We both slam on the brakes (me now in traffic) and she takes the time to throw her hands up and give me a glare of death. And sits there, for a minute, just glaring at me while a minivan bears down on me from the other lane. Finally she goes, I pull the rest of the way out behind - a former Miss Pennsylvania! How do I know? Because her liscense plate had her title and year on it. I am not kidding. Out of respect for the pageant, I won't give you the year, but it was more than 10 years ago. At this point, you're just advertising that you're old and you used to be hot. Then I followed an otherwise fine driver, who drove the entire length of the Liberty Bridge with his hand inexplicibly sticking out of his sun roof. Maybe that hand was too warm. Maybe he was trying to drive his fingernail polish, on that hand only. Maybe he had a question. We'll never know. He pulled it back in before the tunnel, so perhaps he just needed some sun on that hand. Lastly, I again am trying to pull out of a parking lot, this time going right, of course. The car ahead of me is trying to go left, but that's fine. I never mind if you take your time. There's a light at the end of the next block, so I know that soon the traffic will stop, he'll go and I'll go when the light changes again. As the cars begin to line up, stopping at the light, a very large man stops his big red car completely blocking the exit for everyone. Why? Because he was apparently so distracted by waving his blue lollipop around in a very complex pattern. I am not making this up. The car behind him, realizing that a growing line of cars was being blocked in by Lollipop dancer, stopped waaaay far back, in case he noticed his disgression and cared to fix it. Finally, he realizes that his confectionary gyrations are being watched by several annoyed drivers. He looks around, drifts up about an inch, and gives us all a "sorry, what can I do?" shrug. Then he goes back to swinging the candy around. Do we have to pass a law about the use of stick-related treats while driving? If anyone gets a notice that it's crazy/bad driver day, would you just drop me a line? I've been out in the last several, and I'd like to miss at least one. Thanks!