Jami on Jacko

Any death is a tragedy. Some deaths are tragic because the person didn't get to live enough - a child or someone with a condition that prevented them from living in the way we consider normal. Sometimes the tragedy comes because the person is so deeply loved by friends and family and no matter how old or ill the person is, losing them leaves an irreparable hole in their loved ones lives. For some people, they have so much talent or skill or whatever to offer or they've already given so much joy that losing them means a loss to society. A sudden, unexpected death rips our hearts out, a long lingering illness wrenches our hearts daily. Every death is tragic. I've been thinking about Michael Jackson, not just because of his death but also because the media won't let you not think about him for more than 5 minutes. Farrah Fawcett's death the same day is sad, but certainly far less surprising after her illness. Of course, Jackson was instantly recognizable the world over, both for his talented contributions to the music world and his enduring oddness. When a celebrity dies, it reminds us that you can't be too rich or famous or talented or smart or funny or loved or anything for death. Completely non-discriminating, death comes for us all, regardless of our race,age, gender, status or skill and not caring if we understand or accept it or not. However, with Michael Jackson, part of the tragedy is that his life seemed somehow unreal and awkward. I think it must have been a very lonely life, because how could he have friends while being on tour and recording through his childhood? And then, by the time he's old enough to have control of his own life, he'd never learned to make friends. He'd been told all through his childhood, "you're different, you're special" but not like we tell our children that they are special because of who they are, he was special for what he could do and what he earned for others. He was a sex symbol probably before he could understand what that meant. By the time he could make friends, how could he have had a concept of who to trust or who liked him for himself and not his fame and money, or could he even conceive of that? He couldn't have found a friend close enough to him to say, "You can't do that" or "You need to do this" even when it's hard to say that. Then we witnessed the shockingly sad desperation of a man who never was a child trying to build a childhood for himself. Pedophile? I don't know. Definitely he made some inappropriate choices when it came to how he dealt with children, but I can't say that he molested anyone. He didn't have a friend to say "Michael, it doesn't look right to have 12 year old boys sleep over in your bed." Was he just recreating the slumber parties he missed out on? His years of plastic surgery a quest to be someone else, his bizarre behavior the desperate cries of someone fighting to get back that which had be lost and can never be regained. His music and videos changed the face of pop culture. Clearly he had talent, but in the end, I think that may have been his downfall, or a good part of it. Loved and valued for what he could do, he never got to become who he should have been. It's sad, his life, and his death. For someone who clearly brought entertainment and joy to a wide variety of people, I wonder how much joy he experienced.