Jami, Spock and the Husband

I remember my first crush, although looking back, I'd have to say that what I felt was more admiration than l-u-v. When the girls in our neighborhood played Barbies, we'd take turns naming our dolls and "calling" boyfriends. There was fierce competition for various soap stars and teen idols, but no one ever took my Barbie's true love - Spock. Doesn't every grade school girl love a science-geek alien? I didn't care about Spock's funny ears or green blood. I did like the eyebrow raise, and practiced it. Like future crushes, intelligence was the first thing I felt drawn toward. Spock outshone all the humans on that ship - he knew everything. He always had the answer. But he wasn't just some space nerd, Spock kept fit and held his own in a fight. Remember when he got all up in Kirk's grill?? Mmmm hmm - no bullies pushed around that computer geek. The other big factor was the whole emotion thing. I understood that Spock had emotions, but somehow he managed to control them, and no one ever knew what was going on in that pointy-eared head. This appealed to me on two levels: first, many more years would pass before I'd learn to do a decent job of keeping my emotions under wraps. A sensitive girl who wore them on my sleeve, I cried too much, in front of too many people, embarrassing myself too many times. Too many of my future crushes rejected me even while I thought I had been hiding my interest. Spock must have some sort of magic to have learned that skill, I thought. I wanted to be that, and he surely could teach me. Second, I imagined that if you could get a man (or, you know, Vulcan) like that to admit feelings for or to you - then you knew he loved you. Spock was no Kirk, pitching woo to every green-skinned hussie in the Universe. He didn't say things he didn't mean, and he didn't share his every passing thought with the entire crew. Yes, to be in his confidence, that made you special. Fast-forward a few decades to find me married to a smart, loyal, hard-working geek who shows almost no emotion, to the world. Did adoring Spock pave the way for me to marry my own Vulcan? I don't know that the Husband taught me to keep my emotions better under control, I still have far less grip on that than either Spock or the Husband, but I do feel special knowing that I am one of a select few who sees what lies beneath the calm exterior. I guess that's my "type". Spock. Live long, and prosper.